JACK'S BLOG

Today I am losing my footing, I dropped so many tears. I wish I could hold you in my arms, and I would never have to starve from your presence. I wish you could teach me how to be like you, And I could love you like no other. I need you more, I need you more then you know. What can I do to show you how much of me was missing? What can I do to show you that your my everything? What can I do to show you that I have a pure heart? How can I show my love for you? I need you more this time. Today I have been lifted up, and I have been covered by your comfort, I wish you could stay by my side the rest of my days, I just want to scream how much I love you. I wish I didn't have to be so far away. Today this darkness will forever fade away, Then I could forever praise your name. I wish I could be with you as this world falls apart, I pray for your touch every single second. I need you more, I need you more then you know. What can I do to show you how much of me w...

Please strip everything away from my irritated skin, Leave the flesh to deal with my sin, hold me close, and make me pure again. So all I can see is your beauty, please save me from my awful lies. So open my blind eyes, please search for the love that's inside, I am glad you can forgive, because God, I have being drowning in sin. Please open up my heart, Help the tears to fall down, help the pumping and the beating, to flow easier and smoother. Please make me whole again, make me real then, so steal away all this dirt. help my life to work. How do I end up this way? A constant knot in my gut, tied with uncertainty, and lust. You can call me somewhat perfect, but I am betting that I am not. Here I am holding up my mistakes, I pray you'll make this alright, that you would show me your marvelous light.

Everything we do is just coming apart, I can't keep the pieces from falling out. Is this the beginning, or just the start? am I running from, what I am suppose to be running towards. My hair is turning grey, It's taken from the shadows in my face. I wake up in panic, I never wanted to forget my dreams, I never wanted to forget about you. I wish you could still see this sinful me. I never wanted to leave your side, and it hurts to watch me lie. Oh God I miss you so much. I can't stop my hands from shaking in regret. All I toss, and all I turn My past continues to burn me. You tried to warn me with these signs, but I was stupidly so blind. I fell apart right in front for you, There was everything I could lose, and my heart fell under abuse, and I just didn't know what to do. My heart was broken, and I didn't know where I was going. Maybe one day I'll finally reach my home.

Today is like your selfish game, That you love to play. Something is wrong with me, When I watch you drown them all. I am sick from your words. You put your hands on them, and I sing to myself. I could cry myself asleep, this is nothing I want to be. but each day you make me watch, and all I can do is beg you to stop. I am drowning from within, the tears are over flowing, and I can't see out of my eyes, Why do you hold me down, and make me watch? Why can't I leave this cruel world? I dream of seeing the light, but I am buried to deep in darkness.

I never looked beyond the dotted lines, I played it safe trapped inside. My focus was only on the door, and when it was completely open. My eyes bleed, just hoping, but all the windows were locked, and so was my only heart. I never saw the beautiful lights, and you never let this loneliness go away. Because of you I didn't have dreams, Because of you I have been covered in darkness. I lost every part of me that day, the words I couldn't explain, the horrific sights and sounds. When will I finally be free? When I can I escape from my disease? When will you stop torturing me? I played by all of the rules, I played the fool, What else can I do for you?

You only want your money, and all of the greed that follows behind. You would take out all the color, because in the end you just don't care. Everyday is a brand new way you can steal, there is no confront, because all you have is your fear, because you don't care. Now you have your green, but your covered in so much red. You would take what you truly want, and you would kill anything in your way. This is the way you are, rage, and you'll never change.

I can feel the moment build into a structure, and it became something that we dreamed of. We could run around the outside at any time, We could climb all the way up to the top. I looked in her eyes, and I saw a beautiful soul. I begged her if we fell that she would never let go. I grabbed her hand tight, and we skipped to the edge. If you really love me then you would truly save me from this life, she said. I am going to fall, and I going to jump, I am going to fight to make your life right. It took a second, but I finally dropped to one knee... I said if you love me, won't you marry me? The clouds began to burst, The sun began to burn. Then it all came tumbling down, but that didn't stop our dreams, That didn't stop us from being who God made us to be. Smiles filled our faces, and we knew we could weather this storm. Our hearts ran for the races. But the dream finally ended, and we were apart in our separated beds. One day this separation will finally...