The last
couple of weeks I have had a hard time writing about dreams and what they mean
to me. I figured I would continue to use this as a topic, but in a different
way. At first I wanted it to be about your hopes and dreams of your life, but
now I want it to be about the dreams you have when you sleep at night.
What do these dreams mean to you? Sometimes I feel like I can understand my
dreams, but it's hard when I can't remember half of them. Throughout my life
dreams have had an effect on my life. Whether they were nightmares when I
was a kid, or they were feeling more real these days, I feel like
they mean more then my mind putting together thoughts of my days. I feel like
there is a deeper meaning to some of them, or course most of them don't make
much sense to me. I can say I have had some weird experiences with my dreams.
My dreams have ranged from dreaming about things that took place the very next
day, to taking things out of my dream. I don't mean physical objects, just
feelings. There is not much to say. I can't really prove if these
dreams are a message or a warning or maybe they are just nothing at
all. Here are some dreams I have had that left me with questions;
On
August 15, 2009,
"I
spent the day fighting inside of my head where I was going to go with my
life. I was very excited to see my girlfriend Rachel S***** and I couldn't
hold my excitement in. I went to work that morning and I worked a full shift,
and when I came home I met her there where we decided to go out of the house. I
remember thinking that something was wrong. The way she would look at me, and
the way she would kiss me felt strange. We went out to a bar and she began
drinking heavily which she never does, and she passed out. When she woke
up we were at my step-fathers house, and I wasn't in the room, but could hear
what she had to say. I was like a fly on the wall. She started to explain to
him that she had to break up with me. He started to yell at her telling her
that she was going to break my heart. The next memory I had was she being
wasted grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room, and telling me to go
away."
When I woke up on August 16, 2009 I
felt depressed, and a sadness that attacked me. I got up and I went to work
where I worked all afternoon. I met with her and friends to go hang out and
watch a movie, but something was wrong, just like the dream she began to act
differently. When she would kiss me it had lost its love. Her attitude had
changed quickly, she start to act out by making fun of me, and making feel like
I didn’t belong. Long story short she dumped me that night. A couple days later
I found out that she got drunk the night before and cheated on me. She told me
that she dated me because of pity, and I never talked to her again. Whether
that dream was a sign or not, it lined up pretty well to what happened. It has
always been one of those dreams I didn’t know what to think of about it. A
similar thing happened a couple years later.
On
December 8, 2011,
“I was
walking around my Church waiting for Rachel J**** to get done with her singing
performance, and when she got off of the stage she walked right by me like she
didn’t know me. I chased her down, but when I asked her what was wrong she
disappeared. I spend most of the dream looking for her, but her memory had run
away from me. I looked in my room at my house and I found a letter on my desk.
When I picked it up there was nothing on it.”
On
December 9, I woke up and when I went to my Facebook there was a long letter in
my messages, and she had left me. I didn’t understand the dream until months
later when our once friendship turned into nothing at all. She ran just like
the dream. She treats me like she doesn’t know me anymore just like the dream.
This was another sad dream that I wish never played out in real life. How come
that when a relationship is about to end for me I have to dream about it before
it happens? I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss either of these girls. I
am no dream expert or anything. I don’t really understand what these dreams
mean. It’s a sad way to see them last in a stupid dream, and not in person. In
both cases these were my fears that came true. It scared me to think that my
worst fears can come true. I eventually got over Rachel in 2009, but I am
currently having a hard time accepting not having the other Rachel in my life.
Back in 2009 I thought that maybe that dream is a sign from God, but I never
had anything to prove that.
Job 33:14-18 “For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not
perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on
men, while they slumber on their beds, then he opens the ears of men and
terrifies them with warnings, that he may turn man aside from his deed and
conceal pride from a man; he keeps back his soul from the pit, his life from
perishing by the sword.”
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