I have been having this feeling like I don't belong in the church. Every week I am wondering what I could possibly do to make myself known. I am not sure if it is the churches I am picking or what the problem is, but I do realize that these negative thoughts could be because of the Devil inside of my head. "One of Satan's attacks is to try to convince you that you are not a genuine Christian after all."(Jerry Bridges) He is there to make me feel like I don't belong or that I am being rejected from everyone around me. I am sure he wants me to run away from the church and to be angry at God. But I can look at all of these issues I am fighting with inside of my heart and I can see that it isn't all the Devils fault because I have some responsibility in the matter as well. Just as the people that don't step up in the church have responsibility. We shouldn't be so naive to blame everything on the Devil; when we sin, and we have the choice to go in the direction we desire.
But in all honesty I have been trying so much more to step up in my church. I am having this feeling in my heart that we are doing a lot of events and things for our-self's and we aren't out there spreading God's word. I see this in a lot of churches these days where the Pastor preaches about stepping out of your confront zone and going outside of the church and spreading the gospels, but yet here we are always doing things for our church group inside of the church. I have this burning inside me to change this within our church, but I don't know where to begin. I have the desire to be a leader, but now I need to step up and be that. I feel myself some times getting to comfortable with what is happening in my church. I can recall a couple years ago with another church I was with; they taught me that some times it isn't always good to do the same routine, that finding new ways to grow your relationship with God is a great way to strengthen your relationship. As Christians we have to stop getting so used to our church lives. Yes, your church should feel like your home, but that doesn't mean you should be afraid to step out of it. We need to step out of our confront zone and follow God."To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps."(1 Peter 2:21).
Even though we all have that time in our lives where we feel like this is it, and change would make my life more confusing, but God never said that your life should be controllable, and that you don't have to change to grow in him. It is that point when your relationship gets stale, and your doing the same old routine to find God, but won't it be amazing if you could try new things, and seek God in different ways, instead of just staying on the surface you can dive in so much deeper? God isn't only in a book, God isn't only in a song. If God's light shines within us then shouldn't we be out there, in the world? Jesus looks at us as a whole and says that we are healed, we are forgiven, “Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.” , “Get up, take your mat and go" (Matthew 9:1-9) So lets not get to comfortable in our home, lets take our family out on the road, and spread the word, and do what we are called to do. Let's not get caught up in our scheduled lives each day, and shake things up, lets seek God in new ways. Christmas is coming, so let's put our focus on the birth of Christ, and family, and giving, and less on what we will receive and our own desires.
It has been a long semester these last couple of months, but I am so thankful that God has been with me through it all. I just want to spend this time to pray for all those who lost someone in the shooting..I look at this tragedy and I ask myself, and why shouldn't Christ be in the Schools? This world has become more about personal gain and self-recognition, than about Christ who suffered for us, and saved us from this sinful world. I will try to write more on the blog, I just hope everyone has a great Christmas. God Bless!
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