JACK'S BLOG

These days have fallen so numb And your words have taken their toll So shield your fragile heart, Before it is found scattered on the ground. I am not your faithful saint, Or your daily comforter, So please won’t you find someone else. I can’t listen to your tragedy no longer Although I miss those memories, Just like our relationship, it is gone. Which makes this letter to be so wrong. This is your time to weep This is your time to tear down This is your time to build up Although the flames get higher And the questions get confusing. There is no reason to give up. Those spring days where the wind blew, Once made this life feel like your home, And although times have changed, You have so much more left, So there is no reason to give up, Or to fall down, so stand up. This is your time to wake up This is your time to change, This is your time to lift up. We’ve fought and we've bickered, But I can’t possibly stick around, The timer has run its course...

I don’t believe but I wish I did, All of our many mistakes in this life. Begging and boasting, Developing sick sad hurtful joking, Poverty stricken homeless children. This is our world corruption cursed, Drug infected dead corpses. Wavering greed self-centered money hogs, Jealous unappreciative spoiled, Hopeless alone depressed souls. How could I save when I’m failing to exceed? Drowning in the sins that government set free, I am free, I am free, but what about me? The attention hoards fighting for their fame. But we change, yet in the end we are the same. I don’t believe in the nightmares that scare me. Oh dear God make me see what you left to me. War causes carnage savaged people, Bloody and dying for what is wrong. We’re out to love the hopeless, But their addictions inhabit them, Draining there once beautiful life into the grave. Will this always be the same? Do I dare wish to stay?

Just a lost tragedy, Begging for safety How could this nightmare walk the earth? What is this suffering really worth? It is past my curfew, And this is where I like to get off. It is like another lifeline there is no more lights, But there is more drinks to go around. I’m ruining my path, By traipsing through my past. Tough icky rough messes, I leave behind. Sing through these weak bones. Let it Resonate in my soft heart, Fragile and meek, surrendering to my knees. This darkness is in my soul, Won’t you take control? Pierce my sins through the skin, And eradicate where the wild things are.

Reading this book of death, I wonder when this will end, I have strayed from these wolves, Placing them back where they belong. I’m searching for the stars, Begging to the moon, I don’t know what to believe in, I don’t know how to get to you The sky was bruises The wine was blessed Lost out in this wilderness I am losing what I had left I sit and regret, For all whom I have bleed I’ll bleed just as if not more For all I have done wrong To all of my so called friends, And all of my lies, Won’t this finally end? In your heart is where I long to be, But I am losing my own Take me to the heavens Away from this dark place, Send me to paradise Before my heart hardens like a stone.

It’s been a long time coming, And I am still lost in this place But you got me here next to you. I am still crying out after all these years But I running to ruining these bad horrible days I can’t help but remember us dancing, And one of my favorite songs was playing, So we laughed and we carried on, Until the music had played its course. I’ve been waiting for those salad years again, But somehow I know I won’t ever see them Here the sun still shines on the grayest of days, Here the love still spreads like sickness in the air. I’ve been running around waiting for you, And you were wandering around looking for me. So now that we are here we can be who we set out to be, No dark wretched storm will keep you from me. If I had the right words to say,  Then you could believe I would speak all the time. but these stains are in to deep. To be with the likes of me, we must break free!

Could you remove the bullet from my head? What about ripping out the knife out from my back instead? Suffocating with these eyes still closed to humanity, Rolling around in these unclean sheets, Dreaming of, who’s better than a man like me? Would you wipe this blood up off of these wounds? An animal locked in this dreadful shed Trapped in this forever empty room I’ll scrub until there are no more stains, But am I coming clean? Am I coming clean? Still I’m too blind to see all the other cuts and bruises, I’m too shy to notice the world’s disease, I’m no cleaner then you, so is it me?   I’m still too broken to pick up these pieces. Will you lift the body of ash out of the rubble? A beautiful structure is crumbling, And we are all burning from within.

I am trying to be patient here, But the wheels keep spinning around, I won’t ever stop from running, But I can’t stop from falling down. I am just so embarrassed about everything I am. A year from now you won’t remember my name. I used to be so happy, But I have been so miserable. Why does this have to be so difficult? I know how to hide myself, And I can keep coasting by What happens when you still love what you lost? I am living in a fantasy, And I can still feel the cost. I feel so vulnerable, But I wish you won’t remove me, I don’t want you to cut me out. I am tired of all you’re doubts. I am lonely and hopeless. I am desperate I wish you would hold me. I am a phony and a fake In the mornings there are still tears when I wake. I wonder if I could ever get it back like when I was in love, And that I could make the commitment of accepting this rejection, And I wish I could live this life without this deception. But I guess everyth...