JACK'S BLOG

I’m breaking deep inside My language becomes utter filth, Blaspheme rolls off of my tongue So I’m still silent being careful with these words My sin is like itching on my bones. I’m missing out what is truly mine, I was born from you from the start, You saved this barely beating heart. I surrender all that I have become A wretched selfish sinning man Oh God, shine your light inside of me Fix the breaking that is hurting from within. Here I fall so easily fighting to change, The consistent failure is so overwhelming I am losing my once sounded mind And my forever loving heart Oh my Lord, rip these disobedience's from me I want you to break me And make me into something My family can be proud of Oh father, open up these blind eyes Forgive me for I have sinned Restore this life again

All of your days get closed inside your head, And your hours seem numbered So you’re running around looking down old streets Rehashing painful memories, But you act so blind not realizing what is in front of you. All the laughing and playing stopped when you learned how to cry, And as soon as you began to walk you were running away. You ran so far and so fast no one knew where you were going. The pictures of your past over shadowed you, Maybe you worry about how much time as passed. You thought you could make up all the time lost. But nothing seemed to turn out right, Each night you cry yourself to sleep. Nothing looks alright and you stopped eating, You beat yourself up, And all the pleasures just isn’t working, This world is just hurting you, So much for that good life.

I’m standing in front of these shadows, Breaking down at all the turns. Uncontrollably spinning out of control, I try my best to be alright, Will this fight take this life? Illusions of a better life, Seem to come at full price, Here it runs scared. I’m routing for you, But I’m through. Begging for the salad years, It cripples me like a disease. Here I am slipping , When the words come deep. Awkwardness rises like a ghost, Crawling and Scratching so fast, But never even getting close. Goodbye to a sad excuse to strive, Dead memories that kill for one chance, To the wasted hours looking back, Goodbye lost dreams, Won’t you get out.

I’m guilty of getting jealous over other people’s lives, but the truth is it is only for a split second until I tell myself that my life is pretty great, so how could I complain? It is hard to act like I don’t want things to be different sometimes. For example; moving out of this city, or finally getting out of college, and the most difficult one is to travel. These all sound reasonable, but in my situation they sometimes seem impossible. I want to say this life sucks, I want to scream at the top of my lungs, and I want to be mad at the world, but that won’t be right, now would it? Sense I have accepted Christ I started to really dislike these feelings. I hate it when I am drowning in bad thoughts. I ask myself, why can’t I look at the bright side? Why can’t I be thankful for what I do have? If I am pure then I believe this world is making me dirty more and more each day. Then I started to think that if I am dirty and I act in a wrong way or have bad thoughts when it is so amazing tha...

I guess it is better that I take the hits I would protect you from all of this. Here is to wishing everything was just fine, But years don’t seem to make a difference. I want to snuff out this recurring sin, I dream of all of it fading away. The days still get so dark, Even when the light is shining through And I am nothing without you. This city is screaming, Don’t let these buildings of elegance, Become burnt to ashes. We were safe from the damage, But I couldn’t help but drowned in the waters surrounding us, You’re still crumbling from the wreckage. So I’ll take the hits, even when I can’t stand to live So I’ll make this right, so take my hand let’s fight My memory still gets so blurry, And all I see are those same old faces. I wake up alone on a dark road, But without you I’m waiting to end this life, So won’t you say everything will be alright? And won’t you stay by my side for now?

There I was sitting at the edge of my bed, Slowly dazing at the letter attached to my heart. I knew that doom would strike soon, After reading those first words, I knew this would be my last letter. My heart caved into the floor. My once excitement turned quickly into depression. As I got further down the page, My fears began falling down my face. My worst nightmare stood there that day. It took me by my throat, And it strangled my one last hope. I had no one to call, I had no one to save, I could see the love just float away, I walked closer to the ground, The weight had taken hold on my dream You have broken me all the way down, But you’ll be the last, you’ll see!