JACK'S BLOG

There is a hole where something was... It's dark in here and nobody cares. I am talking to myself, so I can scream as loud as I want to. I promise you that nothing is alright. Nobody wants to hear my tragedy. Nobody wants to wipe these tears. Let me run from everything. Let me build this anger up now. I guess I will find my happiness in my misery.... I guess I don't really care what comes out of your mouth. Deep down I wish you would just shut your mouth. I don't care what you think! I am better off talking to myself. I don't want to shatter your feelings, One shattered soul is better than two. Let shut my eyes so I don't have to see such horrible things. Maybe I will see my bright shining light..... Maybe it will come before I am over.

Well I feel Like Hell right now, maybe I should end this heart ache? I keep on looking back, but there is not much to see! I wish I could just hold my feelings in and then just explode into millions of pieces. I'm ready to fall right now, and I hope nobody saves me this time. I am staring at these words and I am killing myself. If it makes you sad then I won't ever stop hurting me. There is no more perfect lines when it's so empty inside. There is no more putting me down because I am not getting back up. I am like a stray dog in the rain, I am hungry, but I am dying. Don't give me no love because I am used to being dragged in the mud. I can't say much because my mouth is taped shut. What can I say I am just me being alone and you can't change that. I am so weak, so why don't you beat me some more. I can try to get up, but the devil says not this time. I guess this time I will really feel the pain. There is no time to run away.

Your as beautiful as fire on a summer’s night. I no longer want to die, so take me by my hand. I know that you are so alone, but I don’t want to lose you no more. See behind the lies, Listen to what I have to say. Take Me Away. Take the pain away. Make it go away. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I don’t want to lose control. I don’t want to lose all. I have learned from the pain. It’s nothing you had to say. Take Me Away. Take the pain away. Make it go away. I don’t want to let you go. I am lost from what I think. I suffer when I dream. I need to feel you needing me. Pure and Weak! Cleanse me! Hold me up! Take it all. I want you to stay and take the pain away. I want you to stay and keep me safe. I need you to stay to keep me sane. I don’t want to see you fade away. I think about you all the time. I want to run away with you. I don’t ever want to say goodbye. Take Me Away. Take Me Away.

If it makes you less sad I will do what you say. If it makes you less sad I will start acting my age. I want to grow old with you by my side. Believe that I am a safe bet, so don’t leave yet. Another and Another, but no more after that. When I am around you I am like a child again happy your with me. You are so beautiful!, I love looking into your smile, into your eyes. You are my reasons for life, and you are my Everything. I don’t every want to see you go, I want to hold you close, and never let go. We can do anything because life is great. Lets celebrate the good time while forgetting all the bad. We can do what ever comes to our minds because life is sweet. Hold my hand and we will fly so far on a wonderful traveling catastrophe. You come with your praise to God we will do anything. If you don’t understand then I will help you along the way. If everyone is happy and if everyone is free then so are we. I can talk up the world and show you the way. Let me walk up right and hold my...

I am so frustrated to the core of my heart. The question is why? I really don’t have and answer anymore! I am grasping at straws….. I think I am changing into the person I am going to be for the rest of my life and it scares the hell out of me. This feeling started a couple of weeks ago. It snuck up from behind leaving me distrait. I haven’t had anyone to talk to in awhile. I am truly talking to myself and there is nothing nobody can do about it. I’m so mad AWWWWWWWW! Honestly, what the fuck was I thinking? I hate myself so much! Now that I can look back and see myself I really do hate myself. I wish I could say that I was perfect in every way, but that is just not possible. It is not possible for anyone in this world. I try so hard to be the perfect person. I am nice and kind. I am the one that pays attend to what people have to say, but I hide all of my pain away and I keep this smile on my face. When can I scream at the clouds? When can I just go out and never come back? When? I can...

I’m a little less normal now that I’m opened at the mouth. Day after day I pray for no more pain, wishing today will change. I fall to my knee’s, I am looking up for your forgiveness. I beg you please, take my hand, free me from these chains. I am having second thoughts and everything is running in circles. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. These are the words I don’t want to write about It’s the words I run from. Day after day I run from the constant hurt, the constant struggle just to hold on. I write the worries, I write what I like to stay away from, I write my pain. I won’t give it up even if I could, I really don’t understand why you haven’t given up on me yet. I wish I could breath my truth. It’s getting harder and harder to stay in this room alone. I wish I could hold up my strength because I am losin...

Today is the day everything comes in full circle. I heard that everything can fall so easily, and There is nothing I can do to stop this unthinkable fate. I can't help to think I am falling as we speak. I don't really care what happens to me anymore. All I think is about is you, anymore. It doesn't matter what happens to me. I will never let you go. I will throw up my fists. I am going to forget all of my pain. It is worth it to stand by your side. It is worth it to trust in you. It is worth it to spend my life with you. We can always laugh at the good times. Knowing that the bad times are to follow. We can travel this world. We can spend each day together. We can do what we want because we are free. The best part of life is being with you. I Miss You, and I Love You!