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A Fallen Apart Fighter

I’m a little less normal now that I’m opened at the mouth. Day after day I pray for no more pain, wishing today will change. I fall to my knee’s, I am looking up for your forgiveness. I beg you please, take my hand, free me from these chains. I am having second thoughts and everything is running in circles. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. These are the words I don’t want to write about It’s the words I run from. Day after day I run from the constant hurt, the constant struggle just to hold on. I write the worries, I write what I like to stay away from, I write my pain. I won’t give it up even if I could, I really don’t understand why you haven’t given up on me yet. I wish I could breath my truth. It’s getting harder and harder to stay in this room alone. I wish I could hold up my strength because I am losing my feet. I wish I could run with my courage, but I am to slow and I am to weak. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. I just want to run from this dirt and run from these storms. Please take apart the hurt that is stuck inside my heart. Please take apart the demons crawling around in my head. Please do something that saves me from the bad days. I love you so much it hurts my head. It’s in my skin, It’s in my blood. PLEASE Don’t let the bad parts in? PLEASE Don’t let the bad parts in? I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. I’m still waiting for your love to wash the tears away. I’m still a little confused now that I am out in the open. Day after day I am waiting to be free. I am falling to the ground, I am falling on my face. I am falling to my knee’s, I am screaming out loud please. Everything is crashing into each other. I don’t understand my ways. Am I being steered into the wrong directions? I want to be this good cause! I am sick of falling hard! I am so cold I am frozen to the touch. I don’t understand what I don’t want to become. It’s a beautiful day, but nobody has to say it. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good.

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