Skip to main content

A Fallen Apart Fighter

I’m a little less normal now that I’m opened at the mouth. Day after day I pray for no more pain, wishing today will change. I fall to my knee’s, I am looking up for your forgiveness. I beg you please, take my hand, free me from these chains. I am having second thoughts and everything is running in circles. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. These are the words I don’t want to write about It’s the words I run from. Day after day I run from the constant hurt, the constant struggle just to hold on. I write the worries, I write what I like to stay away from, I write my pain. I won’t give it up even if I could, I really don’t understand why you haven’t given up on me yet. I wish I could breath my truth. It’s getting harder and harder to stay in this room alone. I wish I could hold up my strength because I am losing my feet. I wish I could run with my courage, but I am to slow and I am to weak. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. I just want to run from this dirt and run from these storms. Please take apart the hurt that is stuck inside my heart. Please take apart the demons crawling around in my head. Please do something that saves me from the bad days. I love you so much it hurts my head. It’s in my skin, It’s in my blood. PLEASE Don’t let the bad parts in? PLEASE Don’t let the bad parts in? I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good. I’m still waiting for your love to wash the tears away. I’m still a little confused now that I am out in the open. Day after day I am waiting to be free. I am falling to the ground, I am falling on my face. I am falling to my knee’s, I am screaming out loud please. Everything is crashing into each other. I don’t understand my ways. Am I being steered into the wrong directions? I want to be this good cause! I am sick of falling hard! I am so cold I am frozen to the touch. I don’t understand what I don’t want to become. It’s a beautiful day, but nobody has to say it. I wish I had everything figured out, but I can’t say that I have a clue. I am so focused on wanting and needing it is causing me to fall apart. I am a fighter and I will fight just so I can believe in your good.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Weight

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Post a Comment
Read more

If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more