JACK'S BLOG

I can't believe my eyes today. Today I got up and I finally looked back on my past. I looked at photos of someone, and I finally felt happy for her, and happy where I am in my life. There was a time in my life where I would hurt myself by staring at a future that was dead in the water. I walked around with it laying on my shoulders. The truth was I hated her...I couldn't stand the sight of her. But now I am actually happy for her, I know that I am in a place where I am happy, and I am not looking for a change. I have truly found a beautiful person that loves me for who I am. She may not see it, but she makes me crazy about her every single day. She makes me feel good about myself when I feel that the world is against me. When I am grieving she puts her arms around me and holds me until I am better. She's the one person in my life that I can open up to. Sometimes I see myself with this big future where all my dreams come true, but the truth is with her by my side, my human d...

In the last week I have written several poems about how I see the world to be. Sometimes I think that what I wrote could actually change something, or someone, but unfortunately it won't. I look around this world and I see so much good that could be done, but that bubble has burst, and I don't think it will happen, at least not right now. Who knows what the future holds. A couple of the poems center around the idea of the end times, and as sinners what this world would become. Of course as it is today the rich keep getting richer, and the poor starve. We are so focused on helping the people in other countries we forget that there so many people in our own nation that need so much help. I continue to write about how these people in need live, and how they react. I bat around this idea of the government taking control, and keeping all the money for themselves, as for us lower class we have to fight our way to survival. As a Christian I believe that this would be the rapture, we w...

Today I woke with the worst headache that I have ever had. It made the sirens that echoed in the background pound inside of my skull. My alarms continued to go off, and I continued to smash my fist on the snooze button. The truth is I didn't have the motivation to get out and participate in this game the world plays. My legs were so sore from all of the walking that I have been doing. My eyes were moist like before it rains before the storm, but I won't cry. Distraction is the key when dealing with death in this world. We are taught that there is a time for everything, but lately I have been losing my sight on things. I have been burying myself in my work, so I didn't have to see the lifelessness of my uncle lying in his coffin. I can only picture every once in awhile because it brings me to tears. I have always written about losing someone you love, but I never knew what it actually felt like. A father figure that changed my way of thinking, someone that was actually a man...

Listen to what I am saying, I am shell shocked, and no I am not alright. I am ripped apart inside, You don't know what it's like. If for just one night, we could stop pretending, that this is ever ending. Because I am not going anywhere, I am here to save you. I'll make way to the top of this hell. prevent from falling from myself, How could you possibly tell. We hide with our stealth. These days are coming, To an end my friend, So can we just stop pretending, I'm here to stay! Everyday it's changing, It's rattling around in my brain, been stuck in this daze, it's like not getting wet standing out in the rain. So if for just one night, We could get this right. We could run from this darkness, and stand out in this light, Would that end the fight?

Stuck in this old busied town, waiting for the days of change. So if I came knocking at your door I would stand up straight. would you still open it for me? I would run my words in my head, write them in my hand. I would smile the truth at you, be a truthful man. So when can you settle me down, because I have been running wild? When can you fill these seems in me with brick, Plaster it up like a sturdy wall. These are the scars of all I have done wrong. Darling will you hold me close I am cold tonight. and I just can't see myself losing this fight. I am sorry my colors have turned on you. But in the end I will choose you again and again. If I broke a nervous sweat, I am sorry I can't help it. and if my voice cracks will you hold my hand. So when can you settle me down, because I have been running wild? Put my pieces back in order, Knock me senseless, so I don't lose it. It's just these scars of what I have done wrong. Help me break this cycle.

My eyes are sore, the sky is burning bright, these lives are colliding inside, and I can't lose the fight. I got my hands all in love is taking me within, so this is it...... It's time for me to hope. I have these bruises from the losers, They talk high and foolish. When I am all the way down, They hold onto me like cement blocks strapped to my wrists... I beg for them to lose sight, but they won't get off. But you lift me up above the clouds, You help me believe in the sky. My head is pounding 3 rounds and a sound, For what this is worth you are the one I want. My knees are sore from kneeling. I'll show you my hands. It's time for me to hope, You like what I have inside... Close your eyes... .....open wide My heart is what's inside. I give you this from me, but you have to be careful with my heart. Please be careful. I'll shatter like a stone, Now you will know.

You are the air that I breath. You bring your bright light, and drown out my darkness. You are the beauty that unfolds. You give me hope beyond belief. You make this life worth fighting for.. You are my heart that beats in my chest, and it only beats for you. It's those words you tell me, Every single sound you make, Makes me believe in you even more. Your smile breaks this sadness in two, Oh how I love you. I can see the beauty in your eyes. I have been falling for so long, but with you there I am grounded, and I will never fall off. You are the sparkle in my eye. You are the future that's in my mind. You are the excitement that explodes inside, and you are all mine.

This air is so sick and dry, I can't seem to breath in reality. I am trapped in the thickness, and as time passes by.... I miss you every single second. I wish I could feel your touch against my skin, I wish I could hold you yet again. Only if I could blink, and my life would turn around, and all the pain would finally drowned. the tears seem to be doing this to me. I am sucking in this breathlessness, I can feel the poison in my lungs.. I wish I could feel your touch against my skin, I wish I could hold you yet again. But I am still so far away. This pain breaks me into pieces, I wish you could put me back together. but the grief is killing me, and every day I wish you were by my side. I am looking for excuses, Why is every thing so useless. Please let me be me, and nobody else. I wish I could feel your touch against my skin. I wish I could hold you once again, Your beauty out shines my tears, You give me the brightest smile, I just can't hold ...