"Everyday I wake up thinking that everything is wrong, and I want a big change in my life. I realize that nothing can go perfectly in one single day. I know that it doesn't matter what I do I can't plan anything, I can't wish, and hope for the day where everything in life comes to my door step. Deep inside my soul I feel like I have something locked away. I never know when, or what it is.....I feel like it could be good, but how would I know. The last couple of weeks I have been away from school, and it's been awhile since I held down a job. You can go fishing with all of the things swimming around in my head. For the most part I got a lot of time to think, but that's just the point. Everyday I feel like things could be the very same, and nothing changes. It's another summer in this city, and again I can't find a job. I am halfway to thirty and a career is in question. But for the one thing that is certain I finally met someone special. Someone real to the touch, I don't have to dream anymore, I don't have to wish anymore because the one thing that I dreamt about for years as already come true. I really believe that this life doesn't matter as much as it seems. We are here for one reason, and that is to serve God. I don't really understand why all of the other stuff matters to us. At the end of each day I realize who, and why I love them. I do know that everyday is a challenge, it's a learning experience for me. I believe that was all it was meant for. I know in my heart that one day things will change for the better, and I will look back on these blog posts and laugh at myself and the way I was acting. I don't just write because I want people to write my word but it's because one day I can go back over them and enjoy my experiences."
Here I am caught in this dance, Spinning until I finally get my chance. I’ll put one foot forward, I’ll put one foot back, But until we move together, We will continue to lose each other. So here is my hand, I’ll open myself up wide, So you can forever live inside. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it out, So here is my soul I’ll let it go. So here is my life I give it up for you. Here I am to finally lose myself, I know you could truly help. I’ll leave my burdens at the door, I’ll leave my trash at the altar, And I will live this life, The way you taught me. So In my final steps, Maybe our footing wasn’t perfect, Maybe our wording wasn’t all clean, But in the end you were forever here to love me. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it all out, So here is my soul I’ll finally let it go. So here is my life I’ll forever give it up for you.
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