JACK'S BLOG

My sorry heart, My father’s blood, still runs through my veins, still opens my heart, Light comes shining out. But the desolate darkness, Balls my fingers into fists, It bubbles blisters burns my hands, It floods with fury fights and fits right. It's got the good guy in me hiding scared, It kicks my humble heart around, It's got me feeding off the fire That could finish off this town It is eating out my insides As I am trapped beneath the floor. Oh it's got me good, It’s my spoiled blood on this oak tree It stains the bark from branch to dirt roots It cuts thick with pits and leaves It stains the sweetness from the fruits It kept me looking for communion some hiding spots off underground an open plot I could climb into So I could yell in your direction, An iron promise in my mouth A black out oath I swore and meant I’ve played the game, Here is one more day I couldn't concur yet again And it’s my dirty mind, With sinful tho...

I'm still scraping at the very bottom of the barrel, tripping over what has been handed to me. I pray that you would let my soul up above it all. I can't stop the pain from pouring down on my world, I can't find the way to say no to the bad things. When my head begins to pound, and my hands start to shake. I put myself down a hundred times, but I still choose the pain it leaves me. I have thoughts of repentance, but I have no room to end this. For what I want to do I do not do, but for what I hate is what I do. I have the desire to do the good things, but I don't seem to carry them out. I find myself dwelling in my torment, Falling every chance that I am free. Won't you free me God from this disease. I know this sin isn't of me, but I come when it calls to me. Here I am losing sleep every night, then I panic when I am finally awake. I become sweaty nervous for I am ashamed of what I have done. I fight this serge that pumps through my v...

When the dust finally settles and we clean our-self’s off, we open up our arms to let everyone inside. Love cozies up to our hearts warming them from within, and holding on tight to the very end.  please don’t you let go of me, I can be civil, I can be strong and lift up all that is wrong. Our spinning begins to get dizzy but there goes our hope spiraling down. So go dive into the pile, and we won’t hesitate to follow you. The house starts to build from the ground, all windows and all doors left open. I won’t be blind to my invitation, and I won’t look away, I don’t mind you locking me out, I just pray that you would stay around. You can be in the baking, you can be in the cleaning, in the walls and in the floors, please just stay with us we love you ever and more. you can sleep in our bed and live in our heads, So we can run wild with our Savior in our house, but it could be made with fresh cut wood or freshly laid brick, but it won’t ever be called home b...

            Remember that time as a young child where you are outside and freedom is in the wild around you? The moment you feel like you can do what you want and nobody is watching you anymore. Maybe it is the first time you went camping, but for me it was being able to ride my bike anywhere around the city. I had complete freedom to go where I wanted, and I didn’t have to ask. Those days I felt that I knew nobody was watching me, but now that I look back on it. Out of all the times I was so close to getting hit by a car or seriously injuring myself, or getting lost, getting beat up. I always found my way home safely. Trust me it was a lot of times that I could have easily been killed, but God was watching me making sure I was safe. If it wasn’t for God protecting and watching me at that young age I won’t be alive right now. I remember running from a gang that wanted to beat me and my friends face in and running across the street with ongoing traffic and...

I wish I had the strength to keep moving on, But it is no surprise that I am falling to the wayside. I recall clawing my way to the top of the hill, But I am still laying here waiting to be killed. I wish I had the energy to keep fighting this war, But losing this battle has got me bleeding on the floor. All of this blood shed my spirit is not been feed, I wish I could make a menses of everything. When the sun comes crashing down, My tears come pouring out. When the smoke finally does pass, We can still rise up at last. This light is just so bright, The burning of our hearts, We have found each other in the dark, We have been lying in the wilderness, We have been struggling to stay alive, Still fighting to survive. So we lose our-self's in the fray, We strive to come closer,   and we starve for warmth. We live this day or die on another, but as long as we have each other.