Sinful Nature

I'm still scraping at the very bottom of the barrel,
tripping over what has been handed to me.
I pray that you would let my soul up above it all.
I can't stop the pain from pouring down on my world,
I can't find the way to say no to the bad things.
When my head begins to pound,
and my hands start to shake.
I put myself down a hundred times,
but I still choose the pain it leaves me.
I have thoughts of repentance,
but I have no room to end this.

For what I want to do I do not do,
but for what I hate is what I do.
I have the desire to do the good things,
but I don't seem to carry them out.

I find myself dwelling in my torment,
Falling every chance that I am free.
Won't you free me God from this disease.
I know this sin isn't of me,
but I come when it calls to me.
Here I am losing sleep every night,
then I panic when I am finally awake.
I become sweaty nervous for
I am ashamed of what I have done.
I fight this serge that pumps through my veins,
but it still eats at my everything,
It feeds on my sanity.

For what I want to do I do not do,
but for what I hate is what I do.
I have the desire to do the good things,
but I don't seem to carry them out.

I imagine myself right in front of you,
and your watching my sinful ways.
I know you can see my disappointment,
and that I can see your tears.
Even when I continue to pray for change,
I fall back into my same old ways.
I can still feel the war raging in my heart,
but this time it is tearing me apart.
Am I loving enough?
Am I giving enough?
What a wretched man I am!
Won't you save me from this body?

For I do not do the good I want to do,
But the evil I do not want to do this I keep on doing.
I have a desire to do the good things,
but I don't seem to carry them out.

(Romans 7:7-25)