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Still Being Lead

            Remember that time as a young child where you are outside and freedom is in the wild around you? The moment you feel like you can do what you want and nobody is watching you anymore. Maybe it is the first time you went camping, but for me it was being able to ride my bike anywhere around the city. I had complete freedom to go where I wanted, and I didn’t have to ask. Those days I felt that I knew nobody was watching me, but now that I look back on it. Out of all the times I was so close to getting hit by a car or seriously injuring myself, or getting lost, getting beat up. I always found my way home safely. Trust me it was a lot of times that I could have easily been killed, but God was watching me making sure I was safe. If it wasn’t for God protecting and watching me at that young age I won’t be alive right now. I remember running from a gang that wanted to beat me and my friends face in and running across the street with ongoing traffic and almost being seconds away from being hit by a car. I thought about all of the close calls I have had in my life. Even now I still have them. About a year ago I was walking to Mid-Atlantic Christian University and a guy decided that he was going to speed up to run the red light, and all of a sudden I felt this push to go forward, and if I haven’t felt that I would have died or been seriously injured. That same year my girlfriend at the time and I were driving to babysit a girl and she went to turn into a driveway and a hummer came out of nowhere, I told her to speed up, and if she didn’t that hummer would have crushed me, and I would have died. There has been times were I was depressed and felt like killing myself and pulling the knife and before I did it I felt something pull me away from it. If that isn’t God then I don’t know what to say to you.
            It is crazy that God has saved me from all of these things throughout my life, and still I feel the need to turn away from him. We all do! We all get so busy with life that are relationship with God gets pushed down, or things aren’t going the way we want them to go, so we push Him away. But shouldn’t we draw the line somewhere? God is our hope in this world, He is our love, and He is our everything. Like I said above I had freedom as a kid to be able to roam where I may, but that freedom I thought I had wasn’t safe for me. I didn’t believe in God as a child, but he still saved me dozens of times. You think I would learn my lessons by now, but I am still tumbling down. I can go back through all the times that I knew God was in my life and I still walked away. I struggled to see what I was really doing. When I accepted Christ I felt the Church just throw me out to the wolves. So I have this bad image of Church, but though now that I am older and I am not risking my life God shows himself in other ways. I find the last four churches I have been to really show that they didn’t need me in it, and now I still not giving up no matter how bad they put me down I don’t go down because God is still there lifting me up above all what is wrong with the church these days. Now that I am saved and have freedom I look out in the world and I don’t feel safe. I see the church and I don’t see family. I see a lot of people that do everything that they want. For example; giving money to rebuild the church, when you can give that money back to people that are in need, or hiding away in our churches having services for ourselves and never reaching the people outside the walls.
            I never would have thought that when I was that short kid that rode around on his bike every day would be so worried about the Church. But I also didn’t know God had his Angel watching over me my whole life. And I know I mess up, and I fall down. I get so close to death, but I know God is there watching. My point of this message is that we have are freedoms where we believe we can get away from everything and then we can be ourselves but whether we know it or not God is always with us. He is there for the really bad times in our lives and He is there in the really good times of our lives. When I look back I see a bigger plan playing out, and I don’t know where it is going from here, but I can see where I came from to where I am now. Who am I to question where this path leads me, and how long it will take? I wish people would stop rushing there path God has for their lives. I see it in a lot of people they find things that they want to do, and never really see if that is what God wants them to do. Everything I have done in my life since I was a kid has lead up to this moment, for these struggles and these hurts, but I continue to get stronger for something in my future. If it wasn’t for God strengthen me each year I won’t be alive right now at a young church, and going to a Christian University. I didn’t stumble into this life I was lead here.

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