Are You There, God? It's Me Chris Caputi!

What Should I do? I can't stop the raging inside. I am screaming all over! I am in my head. I am spinning. To many nightmares. I can't take your voice no more. I am sick of the struggle. If you happen to let me in, I promise I will destroy you. There is a darkness destroying my heart. I can take this anymore! I have nothing left to give. I am down on my hands and knee's. I put my head on the ground. I am crying out loud. I am begging you please. I need you more then ever. Please Love me like your son. I am crawling on the pavement, I am searching for your Glory, God. I am trapped in the middle. I keep falling over myself. Scratching and clawing for you. I love you God despite this agony. I just want to touch you now. I want to know you. I can't get over you, Lord. This way your deep inside me. I know your there, God.

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If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...

LeTTer: 9/26/09

Dear Readers, I am so sorry for the way I have been acting on this Blog. I have wrote somethings that were flat out mean. I don't want to lose any one's trust. I try so hard to write what I am feeling, but lately I have just been saying things that were mean. I wish the people that I have hurt can find it in there hearts to trust me again. I do wish everything can go back the way it was, but all we can do is grow as humans. Maybe we are stronger for this mistake, this misunderstanding. I want to say that I forgive you for what happened and I am here with my arms open. I want us to be close again. As friends for now! I will continue to keep everyone in my prayers. I hope that everyone feels better. Just be positive about life. Take a walk and enjoy what God has created. Love, JACK

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