I can remember lying awake,
Laughing about what feelings I will fake next.
I was always tired of thinking about you.
I hated everything you did to me.
I hated everything I did.
I faked my smile.
I faked my happiness.
I faked my laughter.
Most important I faked Love.
I can remember saying I love you first.
I did whatever you wanted.
I never had desires of kids or marriage.
I hated all of your ideas.
I hated all my ideas.
Most important I hated myself.
I didn't like what I had become.
I couldn't stand your conversions.
Everything we did was all a waste.
I rarely ever slept well.
My head was drowning in nightmares.
Yes I cried, and Yeah I wept.
What if everything we did wasn't real?
All the emotions I didn't feel.
I just wanted to feel something good for once.
I never wanted to do what you wanted.
I never wanted to do what I wanted.
When you were Sad,
I was pissed off.
When you were Happy,
I was Sad.
Why you were trying to find your life.
I was to busy fighting the war inside my head.
Most Important I hated myself.
This was never a blessing.
It was never meant to be.
The fights were all because of me.
What if I never Loved you?
At the time I lied to everyone I knew.
Especially the one's closest to me.
What if you never knew me?
I didn't even know me!
I am sorry to have to tell you this,
but I think you fell in Love with Depression.
You felt pity for Depression.
It was never the real me!
You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:6-8; Mark 13:7-8 NIV).Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV). But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. (2 Peter 3:10 NIV). An...
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