Skip to main content

The Truth Shall Set Me Free

I can remember lying awake, Laughing about what feelings I will fake next. I was always tired of thinking about you. I hated everything you did to me. I hated everything I did. I faked my smile. I faked my happiness. I faked my laughter. Most important I faked Love. I can remember saying I love you first. I did whatever you wanted. I never had desires of kids or marriage. I hated all of your ideas. I hated all my ideas. Most important I hated myself. I didn't like what I had become. I couldn't stand your conversions. Everything we did was all a waste. I rarely ever slept well. My head was drowning in nightmares. Yes I cried, and Yeah I wept. What if everything we did wasn't real? All the emotions I didn't feel. I just wanted to feel something good for once. I never wanted to do what you wanted. I never wanted to do what I wanted. When you were Sad, I was pissed off. When you were Happy, I was Sad. Why you were trying to find your life. I was to busy fighting the war inside my head. Most Important I hated myself. This was never a blessing. It was never meant to be. The fights were all because of me. What if I never Loved you? At the time I lied to everyone I knew. Especially the one's closest to me. What if you never knew me? I didn't even know me! I am sorry to have to tell you this, but I think you fell in Love with Depression. You felt pity for Depression. It was never the real me!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Warning Sign to a Lost Connection

I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I los...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Weight

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Where I Belong

It is such a marvelous light, This beautiful ray still shines during, The darkest part of the night. How selfish are we to take what isn't ours, We build on the beauty of your world. We take down trees and burn them to the ground. We turn what is rightfully yours into a wasteland. We dig until we can’t stand anymore, And we blame you for our mistakes. We are abusing what was once beautiful. I will follow your beauty to the edge, And when I know where you are, it is where I want to be. When I don’t know where you are, you are where I belong. Here I am breathing just to breathe, I am dreaming just to dream. So quick to take advantage of all you give me. Here I hurt because she has hurt me, And I bleed because he has cut me. I am so quick to blame everyone else. Here I am fearing just to fear him, I stay awake because I believe I am free, And do what I want because I think I have the control, But you’re the only one to put me in ...
Post a Comment
Read more