JACK'S BLOG

I hope that you understand that I am not perfect. I try so hard to be the person you made me to be, but the truth is I am struggling. I know that you're there all the time, but why does it feel like I am all by myself? I call and I pray, but the devil still gets to me. Why can't he just finally leave this place? Please don't say that I have gone crazy, because I haven't gone crazy...yet! Some times I am so tried and so weak that I stumble right in front of you, but I am defenseless. I have no sense of control when I am all alone. I have been so dry not even tears fall from my eyes. Some times I get this feeling in my skin, and I can't possible shake it. It takes me for a ride, and my heart feels like it has been cut open inside. If you are my savior I am begging for you to save me. With you nothing is impossible, but why when I sin my heart falls just like my tears? Do you really forgive me? am I really worthy of your presence, because I have been so selfish? I love...

I'm walking on thin ice this time, If your my savior,   why don't you save me.........? They fun free, all over this mighty me. I can't describe the struggle, it's just one more fight to me. And if I were to believe a little, wouldn't I be dropped to my knee's? So everyone runs scared, what's one more for that? And If I show signs of light, won't I be crucified for believing in you? So everyone hides in there own way, what's one more for that? I still have this feeling in my gut, and today it won't go away! We were separated, and my hatred evaporated..... Your love changed my life, so please don't let that fade away. And I am begging you in the most sincerest of ways, PLEASE DON'T LET THAT FADE AWAY!

So you left me down here to drowned, where I am forever by myself. I call on you, but you never answer me! I am crawling on my knee's, hoping to find a way to please you. I wish you would believe me. Am I just another burning flame? Please don't burn my name! Is this a crying shame, that my love for you falls down my face? Is this how it's supposed to turn out? Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn? Do you like to see what makes me hurt? And I am kneeling for you, and I am soaked in my tears, That's alright I like the way this hurts. I am grasping for just one touch, and I am falling all over myself. I am praying that you would help, but your always silent in your stealth. My head is to the ground, but I wish it was to the clouds. How could you not hear me? Are you going to stand there and watch me hurt? I am screaming for your healing to work. Would you mislead me? Do you like to see me bleed? That's alright I like the ...

This blood ruins in dark red, and you can't talk your way out of this one. They're stuck with that permanent reaction on there faces. Why not just give up your confessions? How about you do a little justice? The riches need not to speak to us, and we should stop feeding their success. They will walk with there billions, but when they die they will lose all of it. They can have all of their greed, and they shouldn't be something we believe in. They hide there sorrows inside of their smiles. It's only a matter of time before the green cuts their hearts, completely clean and bleeds the truth out into the open. Do you know what it feels to have the light of love live inside you, or are you drowning in your sin and darkness? Your money can buy you that pride that sticks in you like a dirty knife, but your everlasting hunger for shiny gifts will grow inside you like a cancer. So you can be at the end of your rope, but you can't buy your way out of this one. So your stuck ...

I had a dream today, And all the happiness was gone. I woke up scared. I held my breath from fear. I gripped my fists, And I screamed in frustration. I let my arms go, And I fell back into my empty bed. I had a dream last night, That love had left my heart. I woke up in a sweat. I was shaking because I was so cold. I laid back again, With no one there to hold. Today I must be dreaming, Because everything I’m seeing, I am not really believing. Why can I see such beautiful things, While everyone else is falling in sin? Why can I see such amazing landscapes, While everyone else is sinking in darkness? I had a dream today, And everything thing was alright. I woke with a smile. I sat back and laughed for a while. I stuck my head in the clouds, And I walking carelessly for miles.

It's been a while but I finally saw Inception. Lately there haven't been to many movies worth going to the theater for, but this one was worth it all. I am going to go as far as saying that I would go a second time. I have noticed that a lot of people are comparing this to the Matrix. I think they are way off. I find it more like Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. I am not going to compare them because they are two different types of films. The one thing about both films is they dive into the dream world. It really showed how a memory stored in the brain could effect everything. I know this is true because I have been through something like that. I curtain person was stuck deep into my subconscious, and I couldn't get her out. She would be in places where she wasn't suppose to be. I can say that It got as bad as I didn't want to fall asleep. Anyways I don't want to say to much about this film. Christopher Nolan really shows tha...

This tension is building up so badly it’s leaving me so frustrated, And the truth is slipping through my teeth while the facts are spread across the floor. The disappearance is taking the anger out on me, And I feel like I could curl up and die inside. I am chomping at the bits I’m just losing all of it. There is nothing I could say that would explain. I lost my lover and I don’t know how to take care of this pain. I am losing my sight on everything. My head is spinning out of control, And she still doesn’t seem to be ever coming home. I breakdown completely when I am all alone. I just want to close my eyes, And pretend this life isn’t real. I just want to hold you again, But your six feet under me. I just want to see your pretty face, But our smiles are trapped in this picture. You are my love. You are my life. Now I am left with know one else. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I’m tired of it, this time, I’m sick to my stomach, And I can’t stand all the tossing, and ...

I could care less about your state of mind, I can’t stand when you like to hide us away. You bury yourself so deep that you don’t know who you are. I can’t believe that you can lie to everyone around. I could care less about the pain that surrounds us. I want to yell out at the top of my lungs. I don’t care who can hear me. I love you. I’m tired of trying to show you. And you’re the one I want to stumble with. And you’re the one that I want to have adventures with. I don’t care If I never shed a tear again, Because I love you and I’ll defend you, Even if it’s the most stupidest thing. So where should we begin? Because I will do anything for you, It’s not my job to chase silly dreams, But I’ll never stop chasing your beauty. I don’t care if we’ve fallen apart, Because I believe we can make things right. I don’t care about your flaws, Because all I see are your amazing qualities. I could care less about what we have been through. I just want to scream at the to...

What is love? Why does it hurt when the pain creeps in? For all the things I forgot to say, I wish I could explain my life. How do we get out? I can see my train coming, And now I am running for my life. I wish I could be somebody else. I just want to be the one you love, But I just don’t know how. I just can’t believe that you were right, Everything of mine is lost on the floor. Picking up pieces for the rest of my life. Why are we broken? I am tired of soaking in these tears. I’ll fall down all over again, If that brings you back to me. Bring me your love. Now I am not where I belong. Shine your light and guide me back home. If I didn’t know better I would drowned in this bottle of water, I would float to the top, and all will be lost. What is hurt? Why must we live with it? I could do better by you, Because it is what you deserve. From what I have heard, I’m going to walk from you. From what I see, Love don’t live here anymore. Just emptiness, and filthy memories. Today I am still r...

Trapped in deep solitude. Your swimming around my brain. As scenes slowly disappear. Wandering around in broken thoughts. Why am I fighting the so called good times? And If I stayed...would we be okay? She was the gift, and I was the curse. Hide away her fatal name. Rest forever, unrevealed. Please I am begging you, don't write this down, not a word, not a sound. It's already stuck deep inside of my subconscious. Please wash it out with these tears. In vain everything has been lost, but these relentless walls have grown so dark, but this heart never seems to obey me. The well known name awakens all of my woes, all it comes with is your misfortune, tearing me apart. We used to breathe in what love inspires. Now complex ideas, and images, become lost and fallen memories. The fire is no longer fire, when all of these buildings are crumbling. Sprint towards the light, because this darkness just won't stop catching us. And if I grabbed your hand, would y...