Skip to main content

Dear God,

I hope that you understand that I am not perfect. I try so hard to be the person you made me to be, but the truth is I am struggling. I know that you're there all the time, but why does it feel like I am all by myself? I call and I pray, but the devil still gets to me. Why can't he just finally leave this place? Please don't say that I have gone crazy, because I haven't gone crazy...yet! Some times I am so tried and so weak that I stumble right in front of you, but I am defenseless. I have no sense of control when I am all alone. I have been so dry not even tears fall from my eyes. Some times I get this feeling in my skin, and I can't possible shake it. It takes me for a ride, and my heart feels like it has been cut open inside. If you are my savior I am begging for you to save me. With you nothing is impossible, but why when I sin my heart falls just like my tears? Do you really forgive me? am I really worthy of your presence, because I have been so selfish? I love you will all of my heart, but some times I don't know who you are! I am not who you intended me to be, but I am praying that I can change my way of thinking. I get so rapped up in the things in my life that I forget that this isn't my life. Maybe people reject me for a reason? Maybe I am to blind to actually see the ones that are there for me. I fall so hard for ones that don't even care that I am there. How can I care so much, but still end up losing everyone? Why at times I can be the Barer of Christ, and other times I get confused of what is right? I am so sick and tired of being the laughing stock, just another human the Devil can mock. I am asking you to please break these chains that keep me from being free. Lift this weight up off my shoulders, and scrub this sin off from my heart. Please put this heart that has fallen apart back together again. I really hope that you can hear me this time, because I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't around.

                                                                                                             Love Christopher.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Warning Sign to a Lost Connection

I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I los...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Weight

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Post a Comment
Read more