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Dear God,

I hope that you understand that I am not perfect. I try so hard to be the person you made me to be, but the truth is I am struggling. I know that you're there all the time, but why does it feel like I am all by myself? I call and I pray, but the devil still gets to me. Why can't he just finally leave this place? Please don't say that I have gone crazy, because I haven't gone crazy...yet! Some times I am so tried and so weak that I stumble right in front of you, but I am defenseless. I have no sense of control when I am all alone. I have been so dry not even tears fall from my eyes. Some times I get this feeling in my skin, and I can't possible shake it. It takes me for a ride, and my heart feels like it has been cut open inside. If you are my savior I am begging for you to save me. With you nothing is impossible, but why when I sin my heart falls just like my tears? Do you really forgive me? am I really worthy of your presence, because I have been so selfish? I love you will all of my heart, but some times I don't know who you are! I am not who you intended me to be, but I am praying that I can change my way of thinking. I get so rapped up in the things in my life that I forget that this isn't my life. Maybe people reject me for a reason? Maybe I am to blind to actually see the ones that are there for me. I fall so hard for ones that don't even care that I am there. How can I care so much, but still end up losing everyone? Why at times I can be the Barer of Christ, and other times I get confused of what is right? I am so sick and tired of being the laughing stock, just another human the Devil can mock. I am asking you to please break these chains that keep me from being free. Lift this weight up off my shoulders, and scrub this sin off from my heart. Please put this heart that has fallen apart back together again. I really hope that you can hear me this time, because I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't around.

                                                                                                             Love Christopher.

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