JACK'S BLOG

This used to be our song, and we would dance until we got it right. I used to hold you when you were crying out your eyes, and encourage you when you were dig into the ground. I used kiss you on your forehead, and knew exactly what that meant to you. You used to look at me like we were always meant to be, Like I was the sign you were always looking for. Now you look at me like I am a bad criminal, You look at me like I am a stranger, like I stole a part of your soul. Like I took one of your most precious jewels. Now you look at me with such regret. Like you could care less what happens next. You just want to have love and hold it close, but you were so quick to let ours go. Like our love didn't mean a thing, so you threw away our symbol, your ring. This breaks my heart, that same old lonely part. We used to be  inseparable, now we are unacceptable. You used to chase our love up to the stars, Now you drown it in the ocean....

      T his life was meant for us to learn from all the things that come along in our lives. We will make many mistakes in our lifetime many will be the same mistakes. An endless cycle of falling in the same traps. I have been growing to get to know different people in my life and I have learned that they seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. I am not one to say that I don't, but I am finally at a point in my life where I am tired of falling for the same old traps and feeling the pain. I mean if we aren't learning from what we are doing wrong in our lives then what is the point. With the end feeling of this overwhelming pain all the time, and we are blind to seeing that we are causing it. In the past couple of weeks I have decided to look back at all that I have been doing through this year and make a big change. I had to let somethings go in my life which was very  difficult  but I stuck to my guns and continued fighting living without them. A co...

I will never lose faith with clouds like these. They may be dark, but the light will shine. All of the cuts and scars we’ll be just fine. I may not be the perfect son, But I am tired of running from you. I am tired of losing all that I have left to lose. I know somewhere there is a wife for me, And things will work out as soon as we meet. Her eyes will be as beautiful as shining diamonds, And her smile will brighten up my life. I know I will show her the greatest things in this world, And when times get rough I will wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. She will always be safe in my arms, We’ll be safe in the arms of Jesus. I will never look beyond what my eyes can see. Because knowing you, you are right here in front of me. You are my treasure, She’ll be my jewel. You’ll forever have my lonely heart, And she’ll forever have my sweaty hand. And I know when times get rough you will never get scared and run. She will always be safe in ...

The waves washed our bodies up to the shoreline, And we dove right back to the beginning again. It started on a very cold, cold night, There was nothing perfect about us. She was scared and nervous. I just didn't have the words, And our hearts were beating incredible fast. The moment she laughed I wished it could last. We walked away in utter surprise, And we laughed with such joy. While the sparks were flying oh so high, The waves continued crashing oh so hard. As we started swimming to the sand bar, We continued to be astounded of how far. I slowly grabbed her hand as we stood tall above it all, And I said I love you the mostest. She looked at me and began to smile. Then we just floated in the water. This was by far the perfect moment. The place we felt most at home at. All the while the storm was coming. The raging thunder was humming. I leaned in to tell her I would never leave her side, But she was already gone by that time...

I don’t know what you want from me, You don’t know who you are anymore. But I am breaking all the rules, And I am pretending it is not for you. I am lost in my own advice, I give it to you and lose you. And you can tell me what to do, But I am fading out, I am wearing thin. I am giving up on giving in. Is this all you want from me? To take me when you could use me, And push me to the side when you don’t? I will break my back for you, But will you break yours for me? I am trying to feel the way you feel inside. I am bringing out the truth again. I am breaking down the walls because they are crumbling around. This has left me with no doubt, I will be your distracting eyes if that is what you need from me. I will be your stepping stone, I won’t ever leave you alone. I will take your mind off of the pain.  I will stay the same.

            What comes to mind when the word freedom is heard? Does it mean anything to your listening ears? Four years ago I would have told you that I was free because I could do anything I wanted and nobody could stop me. I used to show all of my anger, and I would do a lot of bad things. I remember breaking into a hotel once and acting like we had a room, and then cussing around and at young children. At the time it felt amazing I loved every minute. I remember running from the cops and hiding and getting away from setting off fireworks. I remember trying to have sex in a parking lot at the beach. I remember partying all night with my friends and staying up until 7 in the morning. I remember sleeping in a strangers house and lying about everything that I did. I remember hiding the way I felt towards everything. I hid it behind a mask so nobody knew what I did or acted the way I did. But through all the things I have done I am not proud, and all those y...

      I have these days where I feel so lost and confused about the direction of my life, and then there are these moments of complete clarity. I wish those moments would last, but they always seem to slip through my fingers and I revert back to being lost. It’s crazy the way things can change so quickly. One minute you’re having the greatest of times with someone, and then you close your eyes, and you can only see them through the glass. It is a weird feeling when you know somebody, but they keep you at a distance. For the longest time I felt this peace in my heart when I would lie to myself about who I wanted in my life. The truth is without honesty I am just another mouse in this game. You know that feeling you get where you’re so broken, but you want to see how far you can really fall? I always felt that this was a perfect tool to see who would really care about me. When I did this it was a cry for help. I wanted to see who was going to step up and help me. Oddly it ...

If I am not enough, Then say your final piece. I am not my demons, and I don't love my mistakes. I'll fight to change, but I can't make you. If I am not enough, then your love was my mistake, but nothing I would fake. So take away my heart, and take away my soul, but let me finally go home. I want to soar through the clouds, I want to hear the beautiful sounds. So If I am not enough, won't you please take me from my life, steal those days from my hands? you were the angel I hoped I'd meet. I am sorry for being me... I have fallen so many times. And now losing her forever.. Won't you take this life from me? Won't you take my eyes that see? but please let me finally go home. I want to soar through the clouds, I want to hear the beautiful sounds.