JACK'S BLOG

Here are all my flaws, You can hate me for all that is wrong. So go ahead and sing your sad song, But leave me out of the title. Here is the truth, I give this all to you. Here is my cash there isn’t much left, Here are my hopes and my dreams. I give you the truth, let me let loose, Let me show you who I really am. Here is our history, let me lay it at your feet, You can run from our dream if you please, But no, I am not close to being perfect. For all the mistakes I have made, I take all of my words back to the page. The red marker covers each line, Why can’t they all be erased? I wish we could go back to the beginning, But then I remember that I am only human. I am scared when we are all alone, I get choked up on every note. I have this tightness in my chest, And there you go taking the best. I am living off of the dirt I sleep on And my scars still bleed easily. I have these freckles all over my skin, And I burn when I am in...

When I wake up, I look around with this narrow view, I feel so hopeless without you. Our house is getting old and crowded, I can’t feel you anywhere. The ghost of our relationship still floats around stumbling, And bumping into the furniture. The walls are spilling out the tears of our pain. Our happiness still may live and die under the sheets, But something deep inside of me is fight for you. Won’t you let me come up for air? I can show you my still beating heart, And you can crush me if you will, But let me get these last words out.    All of our weight is leaning on my shoulders, And when I lay my eyes on your beauty, I crumble into the many pieces I have become. I am broken, so please don’t you break me! Your focus is slowly being defeated. There goes your honesty… Out from your reality. Slipping off the tiles, Spilling loneliness all over the floors. Our happiness still may live and die under the sheets, But somethin...

It is different when you’re lonely, the whole world is falling in love Everyone is holding hands, While you’re holding your tongue. It is different when you’re desperate, And you’re praying for a fix. You leave your doors wide open, Hoping someone will come right in. It is different when you’re helpless And everyone turns away from you, You try to hide from all of your fears, But you can’t stop the on flowing of tears. We all have it difficult but this is different To be abandon leaves you stranded. It is a shame there is nowhere to fit in, But here we are still living, Even if you’re still dragging along, And you’re still doing what’s wrong. Breathing isn't easy, But He paid for these sins. Now we must fight through them. It is different when you're lonely.

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...

She was the dream I always had, always in the back of my mind. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about us. So my heart is filled with regret, She is as beautiful as ever I bet. I can still smell her on my pillow, and in all of my sweaters. I can still see her standing in the doorway, her image just won't fade. And if I could cross that line, I would touch her lips oh so soft with mine. And hold her closer then I ever did before. I would wipe away all her running tears, and scare away all of her fears. I would do whatever I could to keep the peace.  I would be the lover she want me to be. Her beauty exceeds this reality, So is this real or am I dreaming? Oh how I miss her touch, All of her compassionate love. I miss the times we would laugh, But now this doesn't happen. Are these maybe memories? Am I living inside of my head? So are you really here with me, Or am I losing my everything? And if I could break the ...

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10         Every day we get out of our beds, and we open our doors and walk out in this great big world. There is always the  possibility  to get lost out there, and never return back to our home. We all have our own fears in everyday life, mine for example; is being completely alone. It says that the word alone means; separate, apart, or isolated from others. My entire life I had this fear that one day everyone around me was going to die, and I was going to be left all by myself. The scary thing was that I didn't have any control of it. Then one day when I was kid I moved away from all of my family and friends to a  foreign  place I have never been before. As a child separated from my family and friends I began living inside of my head. The days got weary and the pain of loneliness ...

It is such a marvelous light, This beautiful ray still shines during, The darkest part of the night. How selfish are we to take what isn't ours, We build on the beauty of your world. We take down trees and burn them to the ground. We turn what is rightfully yours into a wasteland. We dig until we can’t stand anymore, And we blame you for our mistakes. We are abusing what was once beautiful. I will follow your beauty to the edge, And when I know where you are, it is where I want to be. When I don’t know where you are, you are where I belong. Here I am breathing just to breathe, I am dreaming just to dream. So quick to take advantage of all you give me. Here I hurt because she has hurt me, And I bleed because he has cut me. I am so quick to blame everyone else. Here I am fearing just to fear him, I stay awake because I believe I am free, And do what I want because I think I have the control, But you’re the only one to put me in ...

I can’t be this liar you paint me to be, Holding all of your secrets inside. Following you around like your puppy dog. I won't let you eat away at my humanity, I won’t carry out your bad news, and take the blame when you get scared. Sick and uninspired by the way you live life, When laziness is your only desire. You are going to burn in this fire, The one you created to take me out. Now I am sitting on this tight rope, Waiting for the day I have to choose. I would choose to fall then to be with you. but I want to lose control, But I want to get away from you. No more following your useless rules, I won’t be someone you can use. I woke this morning and I was getting tired of you. This whole life was your big lie. Why did you have to let this die? You would have done anything to say your goodbyes. Did you ever once think of me? Oh how you’re so considerate, all you do is think of yourself. Your heart has grown so cold, I won...

I was looking to close to the sun, I should have just burned up instead. So won’t you leave my heart to rest? I should have seen the look in your eyes, The ominous stares, the random  cry's I should have seen all the damn signs, Where you drew all these red lines. Now all our bridges are burning down. I’ll let your love burn through the ground. Your words still cut through the scars. Scattered in the ashes, Everything has gone away. You made me go insane. I should have known this would have ended like this. I should have known there was no other way. I should have known by the shape you were in. I should have known, I was inside of you, I should have known that side to you. I should have known having been here before. No I can’t forgive you yet. My hopes have gone up in smoke waiting for you So give me some rope I am coming loose, And I am going after you. Your indecision has got me climbing up a wall. I can’t help tear out a...

Your words slice open the tip of my brain, and all of my reality comes gushing out. Like a flood here are all my memories of us. I can still see my body lying on the floor, but my spirit is no longer there. Your sadness hits me like a cancer, and it feeds off of my loneliness. so won't you please hold me close to you, as I choke on my families blood? Now you have got all of me, and I love my mother and father, won't you tell my sister I love her too? So you can find me with all the roots, Now you have a feeling you can never steal. but I can't promise I will sprout up any time soon. Your days are now numbered, and we will all fall down some day. But it is your time to get back on your feet. So don't you forget about me. I hope that you won't fade so far away. That you forget the love inside yourself. but even when the tears fall from your eyes, and they drown out your heart. I hope you will open up whats hidden now, and you will let all of...