"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Every day we get out of our beds, and we open our doors and walk out in this great big world. There is always the possibility to get lost out there, and never return back to our home. We all have our own fears in everyday life, mine for example; is being completely alone. It says that the word alone means; separate, apart, or isolated from others. My entire life I had this fear that one day everyone around me was going to die, and I was going to be left all by myself. The scary thing was that I didn't have any control of it. Then one day when I was kid I moved away from all of my family and friends to a foreign place I have never been before. As a child separated from my family and friends I began living inside of my head. The days got weary and the pain of loneliness grew stronger. Each day I suffered in my pain, and I couldn't stand to be alone. I had no friends, I had no one. My worst fear had become my reality. Now over ten years later and I am still paying for my fear. As the days go by I am losing my humanity forgetting what it is like to communicate with other people, so I stay quite inside of my head. I remember the one time in my life that I did step out and I was lied to and treated horribly. Now I struggle with trusting the people that are around. Old friends have become more and more distant. New ones forget that I am even there anymore. I have become this ghost. Being in two relationships were I fell in love didn't really help me, although it was a good time and I learned a lot, but the hurt was so much worse when it was all said and done.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18
When I hear the word love it confuses me because I don't think that I have ever truly felt it. I think when you say you love someone it isn't real, not until you show them. And the truth is all my life I have been hearing it, and know one has ever showed me. God loves me and I believe that in my heart, and I feel it in my soul, but do these people that say it, really do? This is where the fear comes in if know body shows me that they love me, then I am truly alone. I am always looking for the good in people, and doing whatever I can to show that I am there for them, but they never do the same. So in all honesty they are all lairs. I am expected to confess my soul to them, but they won't do the same. I do everything I can to help those people in my life, but at one point or another they all disown me, and treat me like I don't exist anymore. Nobody ever takes my advice or even acknowledges that I am even in their lives anymore. Most people won't say a word to me unless they need something. I don't believe that everyone is like this, but only the people that I love and care about. All these years later my family blames me for moving away from them and growing up in a different state. My family won't talk to me unless I make the effort. All of a sudden I am the only key to us communicating. Will I ever truly feel love from someone or continue living in my fear of being completely alone?
I have noticed a big difference when falling in love with someone, and actually loving them with your heart. When you fall in love with someone you have this fresh, nervous, excited feeling throughout your body when you see or hear this person. But this doesn't mean you love this person. Loving someone means you are committed to them, and that you trust them with your whole heart which means you don't need to feel fear or lie to them about anything. It means your willing to be your complete self in front of them, you can talk about your feelings, and not hold anything back. As soon as you let fear come into your relationship, you bring in lying, cheating or being unfaithful, at that point love no longer exists there. As we all know love is the most powerful thing in the world. "love casts out fear." Most of us are so eager to find love that we would risk everything to feel it, but does this mean we are feeling love? Maybe we are searching for something, but we never feel satisfied, and it could also be lust hidden inside. One of the most important things we can know is that God is love, and His love is greater then everything else. If you are seeking for true love then seek Him.
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7
Each day goes by that I don't wish that I could change all that has happened to me. All of the love that has failed right in front of me, all the missed opportunities, lost friendships. I wish I could go back to the day I met them both and make the choice to walk away, so they would have never been hurt by me. I wish I could be thirteen again and choose to stay where my family lived. I wish a lot of things, but that doesn't make them right. In fact it doesn't make anything right. We all have are own path that we follow. My fear of being alone is something that is there for a reason, because one day it will all make sense, and I will be able to look back and see why I had this fear of being alone in my life. I could spend the rest of my days all alone and I bet you, nobody would know or even care to want to change that. Nobody talks to me just to see how I am doing or want to get to know me better. A lot of people miss out on how great a friend I can be, and you know what, I am okay with it. I am okay with being alone and having nobody to love, or nobody to love me. After years of confusion, and tears I am finally okay with being by myself. I learned a lot with being with someone else, and the truth is people are needy, and bossy. They wine when they don't get what they want. That isn't love, that is someone begging for control, and I will not give them control of myself. So the next time someone says they love you examine if they have ever proved it to you, or is it just a word to say. I always extent my friendship to anyone that really wants to get to know me, but the truth is if you really don't want to know me please don't feel guilty and feel like you have to talk to me. I would rather avoid the pain of people trying to be my friend..I would rather have someone that is honest and feels that God has called them to truly be my friend. Please leave a comment..I guess I will finish with a question, what is your greatest fear you struggle with day after day?
Every day we get out of our beds, and we open our doors and walk out in this great big world. There is always the possibility to get lost out there, and never return back to our home. We all have our own fears in everyday life, mine for example; is being completely alone. It says that the word alone means; separate, apart, or isolated from others. My entire life I had this fear that one day everyone around me was going to die, and I was going to be left all by myself. The scary thing was that I didn't have any control of it. Then one day when I was kid I moved away from all of my family and friends to a foreign place I have never been before. As a child separated from my family and friends I began living inside of my head. The days got weary and the pain of loneliness grew stronger. Each day I suffered in my pain, and I couldn't stand to be alone. I had no friends, I had no one. My worst fear had become my reality. Now over ten years later and I am still paying for my fear. As the days go by I am losing my humanity forgetting what it is like to communicate with other people, so I stay quite inside of my head. I remember the one time in my life that I did step out and I was lied to and treated horribly. Now I struggle with trusting the people that are around. Old friends have become more and more distant. New ones forget that I am even there anymore. I have become this ghost. Being in two relationships were I fell in love didn't really help me, although it was a good time and I learned a lot, but the hurt was so much worse when it was all said and done.
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18
When I hear the word love it confuses me because I don't think that I have ever truly felt it. I think when you say you love someone it isn't real, not until you show them. And the truth is all my life I have been hearing it, and know one has ever showed me. God loves me and I believe that in my heart, and I feel it in my soul, but do these people that say it, really do? This is where the fear comes in if know body shows me that they love me, then I am truly alone. I am always looking for the good in people, and doing whatever I can to show that I am there for them, but they never do the same. So in all honesty they are all lairs. I am expected to confess my soul to them, but they won't do the same. I do everything I can to help those people in my life, but at one point or another they all disown me, and treat me like I don't exist anymore. Nobody ever takes my advice or even acknowledges that I am even in their lives anymore. Most people won't say a word to me unless they need something. I don't believe that everyone is like this, but only the people that I love and care about. All these years later my family blames me for moving away from them and growing up in a different state. My family won't talk to me unless I make the effort. All of a sudden I am the only key to us communicating. Will I ever truly feel love from someone or continue living in my fear of being completely alone?
I have noticed a big difference when falling in love with someone, and actually loving them with your heart. When you fall in love with someone you have this fresh, nervous, excited feeling throughout your body when you see or hear this person. But this doesn't mean you love this person. Loving someone means you are committed to them, and that you trust them with your whole heart which means you don't need to feel fear or lie to them about anything. It means your willing to be your complete self in front of them, you can talk about your feelings, and not hold anything back. As soon as you let fear come into your relationship, you bring in lying, cheating or being unfaithful, at that point love no longer exists there. As we all know love is the most powerful thing in the world. "love casts out fear." Most of us are so eager to find love that we would risk everything to feel it, but does this mean we are feeling love? Maybe we are searching for something, but we never feel satisfied, and it could also be lust hidden inside. One of the most important things we can know is that God is love, and His love is greater then everything else. If you are seeking for true love then seek Him.
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7
Each day goes by that I don't wish that I could change all that has happened to me. All of the love that has failed right in front of me, all the missed opportunities, lost friendships. I wish I could go back to the day I met them both and make the choice to walk away, so they would have never been hurt by me. I wish I could be thirteen again and choose to stay where my family lived. I wish a lot of things, but that doesn't make them right. In fact it doesn't make anything right. We all have are own path that we follow. My fear of being alone is something that is there for a reason, because one day it will all make sense, and I will be able to look back and see why I had this fear of being alone in my life. I could spend the rest of my days all alone and I bet you, nobody would know or even care to want to change that. Nobody talks to me just to see how I am doing or want to get to know me better. A lot of people miss out on how great a friend I can be, and you know what, I am okay with it. I am okay with being alone and having nobody to love, or nobody to love me. After years of confusion, and tears I am finally okay with being by myself. I learned a lot with being with someone else, and the truth is people are needy, and bossy. They wine when they don't get what they want. That isn't love, that is someone begging for control, and I will not give them control of myself. So the next time someone says they love you examine if they have ever proved it to you, or is it just a word to say. I always extent my friendship to anyone that really wants to get to know me, but the truth is if you really don't want to know me please don't feel guilty and feel like you have to talk to me. I would rather avoid the pain of people trying to be my friend..I would rather have someone that is honest and feels that God has called them to truly be my friend. Please leave a comment..I guess I will finish with a question, what is your greatest fear you struggle with day after day?
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