Skip to main content

Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting!

I can feel that this wait is killing me, it's driving me insane. This pain is making me sick. Only six more months, but all I can do is wait. Only six more months! Only SIX MORE MONTHS! That's a long fucking time to be waiting for something. The only thing that I thought of doing was to keep myself busy every single day until then. If not then I'm going to start thinking about that day. Well that will just tear me up inside. I remember a week ago when I got back home to NC after the second day home I start to realize that this will be a long wait, a long fucking boring wait to leave this hell hole. I going crazy and it only as been a week. This is going to be a long wait! I haven't even gotten my script yet, but I guess that can just wait and wait. Everything I get into is a big waiting game. I started to play basketball again and even that is a big waiting game until I'm good again. I don't know what the next couple of months will be about, I don't know if this could be the best days, or most likely the worst days. I can't see so clearly anymore. I feel like I'm just following the crowd, and not asking any questions. When am I ever going to break free from this torment? When will I live for me, and not for the selfish? When can I be the one that can lead this family? I'm just the one that falls behind. I wish I could find something that I can believe in? Is everything fake? Everyone I talk to are so fucking fake I can see it in there eyes, but what can I say I'm the same way. I'm more broken then they are. I can't walk on water no I just sink. Waiting is the worst and there is nothing I can do to change that.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“Something She Said”

And all of the animals can breath on their own, And I can speak for myself, So you can let go. I’ve turned my back, She continues to stare, What are you looking at? I ask. There is nothing left to in the tank. All of my love has been spent, And I have nothing left to give. I was looking at what I had she replies. Have you noticed what is gone? It’s not just happiness, It’s all of are drugs, We used them all, We lost are love, It’s all gone, All used up. And all of the animals can run free, And I can finally be me, I loved you, but I must leave, So take your lonely hands off of me. And don’t look at me with your sad eyes, And I know longer want to hear your sad song. Because you made this come to be, So stop pretending that you can breath, And don’t act like you can speak for yourself. Because you were so far from who you really are. It was all just something you said.
Post a Comment
Read more

The End Times?

You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:6-8; Mark 13:7-8 NIV).Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV). But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. (2 Peter 3:10 NIV). An...
2 comments
Read more

Anchor

I am holding on to the hope that one day this could be made right, I’m this sinking ship, wreak left for dead. Everyone I loved seems to be strangers in the night, but oh my heart still burns, but I am questioning whether I want to search for them. Trouble has been sent my way, and the wicked followed, Here I cry at your feet, Open my eyes so I can see. Anchor of my Soul You Sustain me, When I am in the storm You remain good to me. But true love is the burden that will carry me back home. I am sailing home to you I refuse to stand here alone. By the light of the moon, I will press On. Tie me to this anchor before I lose, the one I love and become lost at sea. So this love will be my burden, all of these memories of beauty. Anchor of my soul You sustain me, when I am in the storm you remain good to me. This ocean has become your grace, and I praise you everyday at sea, the water fills me up, but you hold me stable, guiding me every step of the way. becaus...
Post a Comment
Read more