Wow! it's 2009 already, I'm still shocked! Well I went to my home of Buffalo, NY for the holidays. I was there for only 13 days, but I really wish I could have stayed longer. I took a bus that took 22 hours. That will be one of the things I will never want to do again. I mean that was hell. Besides all of that I'm back to my crap life. Well it's not all that bad, but I think I'm ready for a change. I started my last semester at COA, and I can't wait until it's over. WOW! this really does suck. I can remember as a kid saying this same thing about school. I guess that I will always hate school. I made a joke on the way home to NC and I thought it was pretty funny. I said that I was driving to my brokenness, not much but it is so true. I haven't time since I got home to really sit down and write something good. I really liked how I lashed out that last time. I hate being afraid to say what's on my mind, so I think that I'm going to speak louder now. How many people are really reading this blog? As far as I know there is 1-5 people that really read this blog. What can I say life is hard, and you never know what is going to hit you in the side of the face next. I know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I feel that moving is the best thing for me, and I can't wait until it happens. I already know that the grass is the same fucking shit brown on the other side as it is on this side, but believing that there is something else out there is hope. Knowing that family is there for me and I can speak to them about my difficulties, they might not be able to tell me how to handle it, but they are willing to help me through the pain.
Here I am caught in this dance, Spinning until I finally get my chance. I’ll put one foot forward, I’ll put one foot back, But until we move together, We will continue to lose each other. So here is my hand, I’ll open myself up wide, So you can forever live inside. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it out, So here is my soul I’ll let it go. So here is my life I give it up for you. Here I am to finally lose myself, I know you could truly help. I’ll leave my burdens at the door, I’ll leave my trash at the altar, And I will live this life, The way you taught me. So In my final steps, Maybe our footing wasn’t perfect, Maybe our wording wasn’t all clean, But in the end you were forever here to love me. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it all out, So here is my soul I’ll finally let it go. So here is my life I’ll forever give it up for you.
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