Wow! it's 2009 already, I'm still shocked! Well I went to my home of Buffalo, NY for the holidays. I was there for only 13 days, but I really wish I could have stayed longer. I took a bus that took 22 hours. That will be one of the things I will never want to do again. I mean that was hell. Besides all of that I'm back to my crap life. Well it's not all that bad, but I think I'm ready for a change. I started my last semester at COA, and I can't wait until it's over. WOW! this really does suck. I can remember as a kid saying this same thing about school. I guess that I will always hate school. I made a joke on the way home to NC and I thought it was pretty funny. I said that I was driving to my brokenness, not much but it is so true. I haven't time since I got home to really sit down and write something good. I really liked how I lashed out that last time. I hate being afraid to say what's on my mind, so I think that I'm going to speak louder now. How many people are really reading this blog? As far as I know there is 1-5 people that really read this blog. What can I say life is hard, and you never know what is going to hit you in the side of the face next. I know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I feel that moving is the best thing for me, and I can't wait until it happens. I already know that the grass is the same fucking shit brown on the other side as it is on this side, but believing that there is something else out there is hope. Knowing that family is there for me and I can speak to them about my difficulties, they might not be able to tell me how to handle it, but they are willing to help me through the pain.
rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
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