"I'm not sure what I am....I just know that there is something dark in me, and I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there. Always this dark passenger, and when he his driving, I feel alive- Half sick with thrill....... complete wrongness. I don't fight him. I don't want to. He's all I've got, Nothing else could love me. Not even, especially not me, or is that just a lie that the dark passenger tells me? Because lately, there are these moments where I feel connected to something else, someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things, people that never mattered before......are starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me." ~Dexter Season 2~
" I'm seriously disturbed playing with sharp tools that don't belong to me. I have such great idea's. Maybe this will give me some kind of release. How can I be so sure that killing is going to refurbish this smile that disappeared so long ago. What gives me the right to walk the streets choosing my pray? I almost killed a friend last night, and now I am thinking about an innocent person. I am really not thinking clearly. I haven't slept much. I have so many questions and no answers. How can I help this sickness? I'm left wanting more. I can't breathe. I need more air."
From Part two of my Stort Story: Killer Craving
Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
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