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My Depression

I am a joke to everyone because they take nothing from me seriously. Am I really that bad of a person or is that just what the voice in my head tells me? I walk around all day waiting for some thing to happen, but oddly enough it's all boring. I can't take anymore of this hurt. These cuts are getting deep. Today I am looking for my blade, so I can cut my way through this pain. It is easy to hate myself when my mouth stays shut when I need it the most. I can't walk away from this anymore I am broken into pieces. Please don't listen, and remember to turn your head. Please ignore my words and walk away. Why do I have to be the one to lose everything? Why do I have to be the one with know one? I can see everything that is in front of me. It is touchable in my eyes, but the reality is that it's breakable. Stupid me to believe that something in my life was exactly real. Today I am losing my mind, and there is nothing I can say or do to make my head from stop spinning. I can say truth,but mean lie. I can play the weak with ease. I can be hate and scream with the best of everyone. I can shut my eye's and pretend that everything is fine. I can wish and hope, but knowing me nothing comes true. I can run and I can hide, but the pain doesn't leave. I walk on my own two feet and I always fall on them as well. I talk to myself because there is no one to turn to. I'm good at nothing, yet everything is my lie. Today I am crawling down my broken, beaten path which is my every day sorrow......I can feel, but there is nothing there. I'm the best at being alone. I'm the best at saying goodbye. I can fall apart or fade away. I spend most of my time hiding behind this mask. Believe it or not it is harder than it looks. To be me is like being a scared broken child that just lost his everything. The truth is that it never goes away. I hold the smile, but the pain stays. I can't be me anymore. I can be something else. I can be a fake, and be good at it. I'll fight, but for now I am still trapped in my depression.

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