Skip to main content

Losing Your Head At 23

This is not pretend my head really does hurt. I’m having a hard time holding this nervousness in. The world can be so condescending when I am by myself. What is the point of you showing us the way? When that way has reached a numberless of dead ends. I’m the weakest when I’m without you. I can’t do what you say! I’m such a horrible liar. I can’t do it that way! Your so unforgiving when I am broken at my knee‘s. Your so over baring when I am screaming at the ceiling. Your so dishonest when I am asking for the truth. You don’t understand me even when I am at my darkest hour. I am the mess and I can’t be anyone else when your around. I lose my head when there is nothing around me holding me upright. I am the broken mess trapped in this dis-confront. I walk on my toes hoping nobody will find me in this disarray. I'm hiding from the truth and I am sorry everyday. I can't find a way to belong anywhere. Even when I am standing in the right spot. I don’t fit in. I fall away from the best and the worst of everyone. I can’t walk this straight path alone anymore. I don’t see the green grass. I can’t follow this line anymore. All I can see is this black cloud. I am not strong enough to hold this struggle inside any longer. I can’t be the perfect man. I like to fall under this pressure. I won't always live with so much struggle and built up pain. I can't live like this any longer, so let me loose. Please don't give away my painful end, but what the hell are you waiting for. I am turning 23! I maybe lost forever!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Is It God, or Just Luck?

As a young Christian there are a lot of things that I don’t understand, and searching for them has been amazing. I know that I will spend a lot of time this year studying the word of God, more than any other year. So the first thing that caught my eye was the idea of Chance, and Luck. How do you know that someone was put in your life out of randomness? Well as Christians it says in the bible that we shouldn’t believe in these things because God is in the workings of all aspects of our lives. Ephesians 1:11 “In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,” So let’s say you meet someone, and you fall in love, but you did everything wrong in the relationship, so God splits you up, what do you do now? Depending on how you still feel about each other I would say to start again, but put your focus on God. As of free will we have the ability to choose love, so the way I feel is that i...
Post a Comment
Read more