Skip to main content

Beyond The Heart Break (Part .1)

Whispering just a little bit of deceit into the back of my ear. How can I believe in anything that I hear? I mean I am wishing that I could just go back to the fun days. The days where everything moved so freely, but I am trapped in my own living hell. How can I break this losing streak? I feel like I lost all hope, and I’m having a very difficult time finding it again. Maybe I just ran into it by fate like day dreaming everything was perfect. I mean everything! I was the happiest I have ever been. Then out nowhere it was gone. Stolen from me. Like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Ever since that happened It feels as if I have been on a wacky roller coaster ride that ends with me puking my brains all over the floor. I want to get off, but the lies have blinded me and I won’t know where to go. So here I am wishing and begging for this hope to return. To be what it once was to me. Of course I live in reality and that won’t happen because this isn’t fairy tale land. Lets just say that “this hope” comes back. Where would it live? Not in this body. I really don’t think that the trust would follow behind it. At one point I relied on that hope the most and that hope ran off on it’s own. I don’t think I could trust it again, and if so it would take a lot of work for the magic to flow. Alright enough of, “this hope” I talk about a girl. It’s stupid of me to talk of her like this was a possibility. Sometimes I get these thoughts in my head that she left for a reason, but I have no answers at all. Sometimes I feel: I haven’t slept in just two days. Bathed in nothing but my sweat. I have everything up in my head, Including the things I regret. My friends do come to me, And on lines they go on by. Tonight I want to rest because, I’ve been running from twisted mess. I live my life by being broken down, And some kind of beaten bused heart. There is this building stairway. Where when you climb it your love disappears. Oh those days I remember in the sun. It always brings a tear to my eyes. But your were to young for me. You were sweet like a daisy. When you left me, You left me crazy. Got to take some time to realize. Got to sit back and recline. I must learn to take a drive far away, And I shall never return.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Warning Sign to a Lost Connection

I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I los...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lay Your Burden's Bare

After all of these years, words still harden your heart, always so condescending when the spotlight isn’t on you. when you come crashing down, everyone is to blame for mistakes made. It will be alright, you can take it out on me! You hold the past like a sword, swinging it at anyone that gets close. chaos exudes out of your mouth, hitting everyone in spitting distance. Here you excuse the lonely of being depressed, yet you sit alone crying at night. Your all knowing wisdom, seems to be all wrong. you know nothing of this fight. So, won’t you take it out on me? you consume yourself of unreal expectations, and live a life of false positivity. so blame me for your indiscretions, and lay your burdens on my shoulders. take it all out on me. But stop playing pretend, hiding your heart full of agony. I tell you this loud and clear, but here you are never listening. We still have so much to learn, and everything to fear. but it’s alright, take it out on me! ht...
1 comment
Read more

Garden State

These were the places that we've grown. Some thing that used to be all are own. All that I have left is something that I am running from. I am so numb to this feeling, I wish I could cry through these scars. I'm home sick for a place that doesn't exist. I am blind to things, And I don't fit in. Trapped inside of this daze, Hoping this is just a phase, or maybe it's these pills I am taking. They leave me with lightning storms in my brain. Everyone is saying different things to me, I can't believe what to see. Emotionless me, I am wasting away. So sad, and so weak. This is what they say about me. Everyone's taking everything from me. My speech is so slur, I am the curse for this town, Pure heartlessness is what I've found. Simple coward is how I react. This feels like I am dreaming. I just don't know how to reach you love, we are just not the same. I am full of darkness & shadows, and lonely patterns. I wish I could stop...
1 comment
Read more