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Beyond The Heart Break (Part .1)

Whispering just a little bit of deceit into the back of my ear. How can I believe in anything that I hear? I mean I am wishing that I could just go back to the fun days. The days where everything moved so freely, but I am trapped in my own living hell. How can I break this losing streak? I feel like I lost all hope, and I’m having a very difficult time finding it again. Maybe I just ran into it by fate like day dreaming everything was perfect. I mean everything! I was the happiest I have ever been. Then out nowhere it was gone. Stolen from me. Like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Ever since that happened It feels as if I have been on a wacky roller coaster ride that ends with me puking my brains all over the floor. I want to get off, but the lies have blinded me and I won’t know where to go. So here I am wishing and begging for this hope to return. To be what it once was to me. Of course I live in reality and that won’t happen because this isn’t fairy tale land. Lets just say that “this hope” comes back. Where would it live? Not in this body. I really don’t think that the trust would follow behind it. At one point I relied on that hope the most and that hope ran off on it’s own. I don’t think I could trust it again, and if so it would take a lot of work for the magic to flow. Alright enough of, “this hope” I talk about a girl. It’s stupid of me to talk of her like this was a possibility. Sometimes I get these thoughts in my head that she left for a reason, but I have no answers at all. Sometimes I feel: I haven’t slept in just two days. Bathed in nothing but my sweat. I have everything up in my head, Including the things I regret. My friends do come to me, And on lines they go on by. Tonight I want to rest because, I’ve been running from twisted mess. I live my life by being broken down, And some kind of beaten bused heart. There is this building stairway. Where when you climb it your love disappears. Oh those days I remember in the sun. It always brings a tear to my eyes. But your were to young for me. You were sweet like a daisy. When you left me, You left me crazy. Got to take some time to realize. Got to sit back and recline. I must learn to take a drive far away, And I shall never return.

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