Skip to main content

Beyond The Heart Break (Part .1)

Whispering just a little bit of deceit into the back of my ear. How can I believe in anything that I hear? I mean I am wishing that I could just go back to the fun days. The days where everything moved so freely, but I am trapped in my own living hell. How can I break this losing streak? I feel like I lost all hope, and I’m having a very difficult time finding it again. Maybe I just ran into it by fate like day dreaming everything was perfect. I mean everything! I was the happiest I have ever been. Then out nowhere it was gone. Stolen from me. Like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Ever since that happened It feels as if I have been on a wacky roller coaster ride that ends with me puking my brains all over the floor. I want to get off, but the lies have blinded me and I won’t know where to go. So here I am wishing and begging for this hope to return. To be what it once was to me. Of course I live in reality and that won’t happen because this isn’t fairy tale land. Lets just say that “this hope” comes back. Where would it live? Not in this body. I really don’t think that the trust would follow behind it. At one point I relied on that hope the most and that hope ran off on it’s own. I don’t think I could trust it again, and if so it would take a lot of work for the magic to flow. Alright enough of, “this hope” I talk about a girl. It’s stupid of me to talk of her like this was a possibility. Sometimes I get these thoughts in my head that she left for a reason, but I have no answers at all. Sometimes I feel: I haven’t slept in just two days. Bathed in nothing but my sweat. I have everything up in my head, Including the things I regret. My friends do come to me, And on lines they go on by. Tonight I want to rest because, I’ve been running from twisted mess. I live my life by being broken down, And some kind of beaten bused heart. There is this building stairway. Where when you climb it your love disappears. Oh those days I remember in the sun. It always brings a tear to my eyes. But your were to young for me. You were sweet like a daisy. When you left me, You left me crazy. Got to take some time to realize. Got to sit back and recline. I must learn to take a drive far away, And I shall never return.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more

LeTTer: 9/26/09

Dear Readers, I am so sorry for the way I have been acting on this Blog. I have wrote somethings that were flat out mean. I don't want to lose any one's trust. I try so hard to write what I am feeling, but lately I have just been saying things that were mean. I wish the people that I have hurt can find it in there hearts to trust me again. I do wish everything can go back the way it was, but all we can do is grow as humans. Maybe we are stronger for this mistake, this misunderstanding. I want to say that I forgive you for what happened and I am here with my arms open. I want us to be close again. As friends for now! I will continue to keep everyone in my prayers. I hope that everyone feels better. Just be positive about life. Take a walk and enjoy what God has created. Love, JACK
Post a Comment
Read more

If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
Post a Comment
Read more