I always feel as if I could just control where this ruin down bus is going, but it takes me hundreds of times just to realize that I am just a passenger. How easy would it be for me to just run from this constant pain? But I already know it won’t ever go away until I deal with it. Until I can face the person that craved this into my heart. It takes two people to tango. She won’t seem to write her side. I think she’s loving the whole run and hide part, but she is young. She doesn’t yet realize that pain will follow you like a black cloud. I can recall at one point I was trying to explain this to her whether she heard me or not is up to her. There are always times where I feel like I can understand the point of view of another person. It takes while, but I get it. There is no possible way to look from there eyes. It doesn’t matter how hard you try. Just another reason to bring up the same old problems. In this time loop that my brain is trapped in I wanted to believe in anything that covered up the truth. I was angry and any stupid idea would come to me.
I’m sick with temptations.
Please show the dirt pile,
Where you buried my heart.
I prayed for angry things.
I screamed I’ve paid for this.
I suffered in an ugly world.
Where beautiful things are covered with dirt and leafs.
I felt her so much today.
I felt the pain as she drove away,
But here comes the fault.
You’ll never know where it comes from.
The heart makes you feel,
It makes the pain more real.
There is no way to run forever.
I try so hard to take the black from the gray,
But I don’t know if my soul can take,
Without the heart the love is forever ripped apart.
You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:6-8; Mark 13:7-8 NIV).Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV). But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. (2 Peter 3:10 NIV). An...
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