"I can't believe that everything was meant to happen the way it did. I mean what are the odds of coming all the way to NY and living my ultimate dream. It was never supposed to happen that way because God has something else for me and it's not in Buffalo, NY. I feel that this trip has been more of a break, a eye opener for me. I have always had this longing for home sweet home, and I am finally making the plans to head back there. It's crazy to think I would call that my home, but leaving it has made it so clear to me now. Of course I had the worse experience of my life there, but I can't leave forever because something bad happened. Plus that situation changed my life forever. I know that I won't fall for that ever again. Falling and being in love are two completely different things in my book. I am excited to go back finally, and I act like it's been so long, but really it has only been four months. It's funny how everything comes together at about the same time. I just hope that there are no problems when I go back. I am hoping that we can all just get over what has happened in the past. I am a loving, caring, understanding person, and I would just like everyone to know that about me. Most of the time I hate getting all caught up in this chaos of a life style. I mean all the things that are slowly destroying this beautiful world that God created for us. I can't stand it. I am sick of looking at the Greed, and Selfishness pouring out of these people every single day of my life. That's why I am going back home, because I finally found a place where I belong. It's a place where loving, caring people are surrounding you, and well I just can't get enough of that. When I look back I never thought that I would be this person. Somebody once told me that there was something special deep inside of me. Of course I couldn't see that at all. I was blind. I was trapped in this world of anger, and I couldn't stop hitting the wall. I can sure see now, how great I am, and I great I will become. All I need is Jesus, and having become that are pursuing the same thing, well there is nothing wrong with that, right? So in about a month or so I'll be back in the state of North Carolina, and you know what I can't wait. I already know that it's going to be a hot one, just seeing Waterfront Park, and New Hope Christian Fellowship, all the small stores, and even seeing good old Hibbett Sports again. I just can't contain the excitement, I am bursting out."
Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
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