Skip to main content

Dear Family and Readers,

 "I always thought that I had this problem with realizing my sad awful feelings that suffocate me, but that's not true! I have these troubles, these tragedies for a reason. It's all for growth, and prosper. I spent long periods of time looking down on myself never realizing there was nothing wrong. Sometimes you have to give the bad times a chance to heal you, and strength you. It's as almost if you had to soak in your horrors before you can get free from them. Everyday is a test from God, and that is what makes life worth it all. If God is showing which way to go, and teaching you how to succeed what could be better then that. The one most important thing you have to learn is that He wants you to succeed in this life, He wants you to love. Sometimes as humans we get so caught up in what we want. In my case I wanted to peruse Acting, noticing every time I got a part, it fell apart. I was always questioning do I fight for this, or is God trying to tell me "Hey, This isn't what I want for you. What I want for you is so much better, Follow my lead, and I'll show you greatness." Of course It took me awhile to actually see that. I can't say it all happened for a reason, but when I was down and out God reached out and filled me with hope, and gave me a goal. He knows what I so desperately ache for, Love. Well He is Love. Life is all about choices and what you do with them. We can continue to rebel from everything he says, or we can fess up are mistakes and take is hand. My main concern is that I have been stuck in this one foot in, and one foot out mode. I try to be right, but I am all wrong. "You can't have your cake, and eat it to."  So I am here to say I am giving up this quest for what I want because deep down it's not what I really want. I'm tired of being stuck with a broken burned heart. I'm tired of seeing everyone around fall into love, and happiness. Of course I am so happy for them. I am ready for my turn. The reason I am writing this is because today at church God helped me realize that I did what I came to Buffalo for. The reason I came to Buffalo was #1 see that my father wasn't drinking again, and to mend are relationship, #2 is to visit and spend time with my family that I love so much. So God gave me a little push today. Sitting along I made my decision to move back to North Carolina. I am not leaving right away, but I am going to continue to work and spend as much time with my family as possible. I can't say I'll never be back, but my home is in NC, and it doesn't matter where I was born."      
                                                                                                                      Love Chris

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The End Times?

You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:6-8; Mark 13:7-8 NIV).Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV). But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. (2 Peter 3:10 NIV). An...
2 comments
Read more

Even On My Worst Days

My eyes are opened wide, And the world is falling to pieces, I feel like sealing my heart completely. The tears still drop towards the ceiling. I wish I could see your beautiful creation again, But everything is still upside down. It’s another fight and one more day on the ground. I can pray for heaven to come raining, But here on earth I am drowning. I can say all the right things, But be misheard by everyone. As I am being pushed out to sea, You’re still out there searching for me. The love you have always strengthens me. And so I step on some toes on my path, And I struggle to trust the people around me, So, I may be losing myself as well, But I know I can never lose your grace. My faith could never change, Even on my worst days.
2 comments
Read more

Give It Up For You

Here I am caught in this dance, Spinning until I finally get my chance. I’ll put one foot forward, I’ll put one foot back, But until we move together, We will continue to lose each other. So here is my hand, I’ll open myself up wide, So you can forever live inside. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it out, So here is my soul I’ll let it go. So here is my life I give it up for you. Here I am to finally lose myself, I know you could truly help. I’ll leave my burdens at the door, I’ll leave my trash at the altar, And I will live this life, The way you taught me. So In my final steps, Maybe our footing wasn’t perfect, Maybe our wording wasn’t all clean, But in the end you were forever here to love me. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it all out, So here is my soul I’ll finally let it go. So here is my life I’ll forever give it up for you.
2 comments
Read more