"Look at it now, it's been another year. I can say that 2010 wasn't the best not by the least bit. A little sideways if you ask me. You know, up and down. My expectations for this year was really high, but it wasn't even close to what I imagined. Last year I remember having this plan to recovery, but that didn't really pan out to well. It feels more like little explosions went off during this year. I spent half the year in New York. Buffalo, NY that is, so I didn't have the luxury of the city part. I spent a lot of time with my family, I got a boring job, and got stuck in this trap of doing the same route over and over. I found myself at the movies a lot, and I went out to some bars/night clubs. (which I found to be irritating) Oh yeah, I worked out like seven days a week with my dad. (which was great by the way) After awhile I found myself getting tried, and I needed a quick change. The truth is that I didn't know what I wanted. I seem to make one dump decision after another, and all I can do is live with them.
I change my mind so many times I don't know what I am doing. The next big thing on my decisions list was applying at MACU. Although a great school, I am completely tired of school's and the testing. I guess I don't have any say so in that. I got so used to Acting, that now I don't have a clue what I'll do the rest of my life. I am lost, still. When is the right time to fall apart? I am looking for my life, I am looking for my career. I can't wait to have a grasp on one part of my life for a change. Besides the awesome albums I have listen to, and the new bands, sadly my year has been lack luster, but since 2009 was so damn eventful, I am okay with the dullness of this year. I have certainly learned to not have such high expectations because most likely they'll drain you. Yeah, I can talk about what I want to happen this coming year, but the truth is that I have no idea what will happen. I can't predict the future. I wish the same old things, and I dream of great things, but when does all those hopes, and dreams ever come true? I am just going to continue to do what I do best, and stop worrying about all of this crap. I know I have many more lessons to learn, so here is too 2011 the year of question."
Here I am caught in this dance, Spinning until I finally get my chance. I’ll put one foot forward, I’ll put one foot back, But until we move together, We will continue to lose each other. So here is my hand, I’ll open myself up wide, So you can forever live inside. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it out, So here is my soul I’ll let it go. So here is my life I give it up for you. Here I am to finally lose myself, I know you could truly help. I’ll leave my burdens at the door, I’ll leave my trash at the altar, And I will live this life, The way you taught me. So In my final steps, Maybe our footing wasn’t perfect, Maybe our wording wasn’t all clean, But in the end you were forever here to love me. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it all out, So here is my soul I’ll finally let it go. So here is my life I’ll forever give it up for you.
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