"It has been said that the son pays for the father's sins, but I believe this to be true. I am suffering for mistakes that my father made, and he is so blind he can't even see my struggles. He doesn't seem to see that every time he takes a slip of his drug, I am the one stumbling in the dark alley. He doesn't see that he hasn't taught me anything about the real world. I have been bouncing around in my bubble for years. Between him and my mother my brain was filled to the top with lies. Parents feel that some times lying to their children is a lot better off then letting them know the cruel hard truth of this sick little world. When my bubble finally did burst I was flooded with all of the things I was never told as a kid. These things started to eat away at me, and as I am getting older they are still tearing through the flesh. "I can't control myself" I'll say, but the number one thing is that I don't know who, or what I am. Am I suppose to become my father? Of course, you would say to become your own man, somebody better. The question is as the world of sin corrupts my mind will I become just like my father, anyways? Will the cycle continue? Everyone seems to be so curtain about there futures, and what they want, but the truth is that they don't really have a clue, it's out of our hands. God drives up and down our paths each day, he knows them like the back of his hand. Does that make us his little puppets? Is the Devil there to cut our strings? I do know that I don't have the answers of this "Spiritual World". Believing in God means that you will never know your path, your expected to walk through the darkness holding onto nothing but your faith. So why does my father continue to struggle? God is with us all the time, but this is the same with the Devil. My Father believes in God, but it's seems that the Devil is winning that battle hands down. Are we all just casualties in this war? Are we supposed to fight with everything, but die by the Devil's hand in the end? Pray I am more then what my father is, and maybe I won't be just another plaything the Devil likes to toy with before he devours me whole."
After all of these years, words still harden your heart, always so condescending when the spotlight isn’t on you. when you come crashing down, everyone is to blame for mistakes made. It will be alright, you can take it out on me! You hold the past like a sword, swinging it at anyone that gets close. chaos exudes out of your mouth, hitting everyone in spitting distance. Here you excuse the lonely of being depressed, yet you sit alone crying at night. Your all knowing wisdom, seems to be all wrong. you know nothing of this fight. So, won’t you take it out on me? you consume yourself of unreal expectations, and live a life of false positivity. so blame me for your indiscretions, and lay your burdens on my shoulders. take it all out on me. But stop playing pretend, hiding your heart full of agony. I tell you this loud and clear, but here you are never listening. We still have so much to learn, and everything to fear. but it’s alright, take it out on me! ht...
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