"It has been said that the son pays for the father's sins, but I believe this to be true. I am suffering for mistakes that my father made, and he is so blind he can't even see my struggles. He doesn't seem to see that every time he takes a slip of his drug, I am the one stumbling in the dark alley. He doesn't see that he hasn't taught me anything about the real world. I have been bouncing around in my bubble for years. Between him and my mother my brain was filled to the top with lies. Parents feel that some times lying to their children is a lot better off then letting them know the cruel hard truth of this sick little world. When my bubble finally did burst I was flooded with all of the things I was never told as a kid. These things started to eat away at me, and as I am getting older they are still tearing through the flesh. "I can't control myself" I'll say, but the number one thing is that I don't know who, or what I am. Am I suppose to become my father? Of course, you would say to become your own man, somebody better. The question is as the world of sin corrupts my mind will I become just like my father, anyways? Will the cycle continue? Everyone seems to be so curtain about there futures, and what they want, but the truth is that they don't really have a clue, it's out of our hands. God drives up and down our paths each day, he knows them like the back of his hand. Does that make us his little puppets? Is the Devil there to cut our strings? I do know that I don't have the answers of this "Spiritual World". Believing in God means that you will never know your path, your expected to walk through the darkness holding onto nothing but your faith. So why does my father continue to struggle? God is with us all the time, but this is the same with the Devil. My Father believes in God, but it's seems that the Devil is winning that battle hands down. Are we all just casualties in this war? Are we supposed to fight with everything, but die by the Devil's hand in the end? Pray I am more then what my father is, and maybe I won't be just another plaything the Devil likes to toy with before he devours me whole."
Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
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