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Father Issues

"It has been said that the son pays for the father's sins, but I believe this to be true. I am suffering for mistakes that my father made, and he is so blind he can't even see my struggles. He doesn't seem to see that every time he takes a slip of his drug, I am the one stumbling in the dark alley. He doesn't see that he hasn't taught me anything about the real world. I have been bouncing around in my bubble for years. Between him and my mother my brain was filled to the top with lies. Parents feel that some times lying to their children is a lot better off then letting them know the cruel hard truth of this sick little world. When my bubble finally did burst I was flooded with all of the things I was never told as a kid. These things started to eat away at me, and as I am getting older they are still tearing through the flesh. "I can't control myself" I'll say, but the number one thing is that I don't know who, or what I am. Am I suppose to become my father? Of course, you would say to become your own man, somebody better. The question is as the world of sin corrupts my mind will I become just like my father, anyways? Will the cycle continue? Everyone seems to be so curtain about there futures, and what they want, but the truth is that they don't really have a clue, it's out of our hands. God drives up and down our paths each day, he knows them like the back of his hand. Does that make us his little puppets? Is the Devil there to cut our strings? I do know that I don't have the answers of this "Spiritual World". Believing in God means that you will never know your path, your expected to walk through the darkness holding onto nothing but your faith. So why does my father continue to struggle? God is with us all the time, but this is the same with the Devil. My Father believes in God, but it's seems that the Devil is winning that battle hands down. Are we all just casualties in this war? Are we supposed to fight with everything, but die by the Devil's hand in the end? Pray I am more then what my father is, and maybe I won't be just another plaything the Devil likes to toy with before he devours me whole."

Comments

Charleston said…
It sucks that we have to go through things like this. But understand, your parents are sinners, just like you and me. So forgive them where they mess up just as the Father has forgiven us. I don't know why things happen the way they do. What I do know is that everything works out according to God's Will. God will use your story for good -That does not mean He caused it to happen though, just that He could use it. I also know that everything works for the good of those who love God. So remember and know these things when times are tough and you question why things are the way they are. God loves ya man!
January 10, 2011 at 9:21 AM
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