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Today is the Time for Change!

Lately I have been so confused about the things in my life. Everything keeps taking a hit from all different angles, and I am surrounded on all sides. What is happiness for real? Is that when you can hold your head up high, and trust that everything is going to be alright, even when your filled with so much fear you could cut yourself wide open. I can say things seem to work themselves out, and people change. The question is can I change from being accustom to walking broken? Can I open my eyes and change may broken shattered ways? The one thing that I know is that I find myself falling back in the same rut. I will not become my father, I will not become my stepfather, I am much stronger then them. I can feel this nagging in my heart that's telling me to get out of here. I understand that it means out of this state of mind. Am I truly happy? A couple of weeks ago I thought about the question, can I have it all? Well the answer to that is certainly not. In one fail swoop everything started to crumble, and I wasn't strong enough to lift this rubble up off of me. I am happy with my love, but it's the things around us that is making this whole damn thing fall off the edge. I truly believe we need to have some self control. We need to trust in God, and whatever we do we need to hang on tightly before we drift way in these waves of life. I know I need to change, I need to step up, and be this Christian I am supposed to be, I need to stand in the front of the line with my head held high. I have to stop cowering in the background waiting for something to go horribly wrong.
This is my life and I need to get used to the fact that there will always be problems, there will always be struggles that will bring me down to my knee's in tears, but today is the day I take control of this big machine, and stand for what I believe in. I will not be like my father, and I will not become my stepfather. I only have one father and he lives in Heaven.

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