Skip to main content

Today is the Time for Change!

Lately I have been so confused about the things in my life. Everything keeps taking a hit from all different angles, and I am surrounded on all sides. What is happiness for real? Is that when you can hold your head up high, and trust that everything is going to be alright, even when your filled with so much fear you could cut yourself wide open. I can say things seem to work themselves out, and people change. The question is can I change from being accustom to walking broken? Can I open my eyes and change may broken shattered ways? The one thing that I know is that I find myself falling back in the same rut. I will not become my father, I will not become my stepfather, I am much stronger then them. I can feel this nagging in my heart that's telling me to get out of here. I understand that it means out of this state of mind. Am I truly happy? A couple of weeks ago I thought about the question, can I have it all? Well the answer to that is certainly not. In one fail swoop everything started to crumble, and I wasn't strong enough to lift this rubble up off of me. I am happy with my love, but it's the things around us that is making this whole damn thing fall off the edge. I truly believe we need to have some self control. We need to trust in God, and whatever we do we need to hang on tightly before we drift way in these waves of life. I know I need to change, I need to step up, and be this Christian I am supposed to be, I need to stand in the front of the line with my head held high. I have to stop cowering in the background waiting for something to go horribly wrong.
This is my life and I need to get used to the fact that there will always be problems, there will always be struggles that will bring me down to my knee's in tears, but today is the day I take control of this big machine, and stand for what I believe in. I will not be like my father, and I will not become my stepfather. I only have one father and he lives in Heaven.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Weight

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Post a Comment
Read more

If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more