"We all get writers block, but I seem to have it strapped to me. Every time I seem to write something I am not impressed, or disappointed. I can really say if what I am going through is considered writer's block, it may be something worse. Writing poetry has been my life, and right now I am just hating the words I ink to paper. Scared honestly. I continue to search for motivation, but there seems to be nothing out there. Normally I have inspiration from music, but that has slowly faded in the background. I feel like my life is so lost right now I don't know how to feel, or what to feel. I think that I am broken. I need repair. I feel like I am in a nightmare. I am searching for new ideas, because that's what it says to do on eHow.com, but I am looking around, and to be honest I wrote about everything that seems important. What can be out there that can spark my interest?
Many things in my life have changed in the last couple of months. I think what's causing this block is that I am not feeling like I used to. It's like I can't connect with those emotions anymore. The words aren't flowing off the page. What is it like to feel something? I am hoping that I can find this soon. I recently been asking questions like what does it feel like when your happy? because I just feel, blah! I do know that when I look at something, or someone that is going through a problem I understand them for some reason, but I am not feeling anything. Like as recent as yesterday I was at a pet store, and there were these cats in cages. I know that sounds corny, but It had to suck to be in those cages all day long. God didn't create them to be lock up 24/7. I get up everyday, and I see someone sick, and I just feel horrible. This my sound stupid, but I pray that I would rather be sick then them have to suffer through that pain. What does this all mean? Mean while I am sick every single day. I do what everyone else does, and put on my game face. Maybe God wants me to show my hurt, and share my pain, but with who?
So after researching the topic of finding true happiness the number one thing is to close your eyes, and imagine yourself in a place or lifestyle that you see yourself happy. Then try your best to make that happen in reality. Yeah, it sounds like it's a cake walk. The truth is how do I know that after all the work, and the hard times of making it to that place, that I will still be happy? Is that a gamble I should really take, it could take years? So maybe I don't find out how to truly be happy. Will the block ease up? Will I always hate my own work? I guess you can put these questions in the unknown folder because I just don't know."
If you have any ideas please feel free to express your thoughts I would love to read them.
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