Who am I? I feel like I am this person, called the helper. Where are my friends? I've been trying to answer that question for so long now. I mean I have friends, but not true friends. I'm the guy that people ask advice from and then walk away. Who can I share with? I've tried, and I've tired, but really is there anyone out there? Anyone that will listen to what I have to say for a change. No that's what it's called, I'm the Nice Guy! When will that term be put to rest? I hate to say it, but I'm the guy girls dump their problems on, and then go back to their boy friends.I swear to you not that the last couple of people I've met used me as a sounding board for their problems. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. What am I putting off that I'm the guy you cry on his shoulder with? Is it something that I am doing, or saying? A true friend is equal, they are loyal, and they have each others backs. Where can I find that in a person? Right now in my life, I'm having a really hard time finding a good friend to hang out with. Look this is me venting to myself, unless someone reads this. It hurts so bad knowing that there is really not a person out there that really cares about, me. Sometimes I wish I could escape, but don't we all? I travel three states, and that loneliness I talk of, just followed behind me. Now doesn't that suck! Of course I have heard this millions of times "You are never alone, God is there." I know that this is true, but that's not the feeling I am having. I am not lonely from God. I am lonely from...people...humans. How come I can't just close my eyes, and this feeling would just go away? What have I done wrong? I went out to local places, and talked to people. I've talked to people online, but I never seem to make that connection with someone. I try to be honest. Maybe that's a problem? What about me is making people turn there heads?
I recently had a really bad break-up, that basically destroyed me inside, and out. But I am done with that, I am over that sad excuse for a relationship. I seem to find these girls and every time I do, I get to know them, and I begin to like them, and then I'm just the friend. It's like I am stuck in this horrible friendship nightmare with women, and I can't get out. Wait...Or they are dating already, Or they are married, Or they are not ready for a "relationship" I didn't think I was either, but it's been awhile. What is wrong with me? Why do I question myself so much? I always felt that I was the "Husband" type not the "Boy Friend" type maybe that's why I can't get a date. I've have tried everything, well expect one of those dating sites, or speed dating...Wow! that always reminds me of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin. Maybe that is a bad idea!
Well this is me, as lonely as can be. Well if you read this and you feel like responding, please let me hear your voice. Hear is a bible verse I thought went along with my rant.
Ecclesiastes 4:10-11
If one person falls, the other can reach out for help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?
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