Skip to main content

I'm So Lonely..........................

Who am I? I feel like I am this person, called the helper. Where are my friends? I've been trying to answer that question for so long now. I mean I have friends, but not true friends. I'm the guy that people ask advice from and then walk away. Who can I share with? I've tried, and I've tired, but really is there anyone out there? Anyone that will listen to what I have to say for a change. No that's what it's called, I'm the Nice Guy! When will that term be put to rest? I hate to say it, but I'm the guy girls dump their problems on, and then go back to their boy friends.

I swear to you not that the last couple of people I've met used me as a sounding board for their problems. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. What am I putting off that I'm the guy you cry on his shoulder with? Is it something that I am doing, or saying? A true friend is equal, they are loyal, and they have each others backs. Where can I find that in a person? Right now in my life, I'm having a really hard time finding a good friend to hang out with. Look this is me venting to myself, unless someone reads this. It hurts so bad knowing that there is really not a person out there that really cares about, me. Sometimes I wish I could escape, but don't we all? I travel three states, and that loneliness I talk of, just followed behind me. Now doesn't that suck! Of course I have heard this millions of times "You are never alone, God is there." I know that this is true, but that's not the feeling I am having. I am not lonely from God. I am lonely from...people...humans. How come I can't just close my eyes, and this feeling would just go away? What have I done wrong? I went out to local places, and talked to people. I've talked to people online, but I never seem to make that connection with someone. I try to be honest. Maybe that's a problem? What about me is making people turn there heads?

I recently had a really bad break-up, that basically destroyed me inside, and out. But I am done with that, I am over that sad excuse for a relationship. I seem to find these girls and every time I do, I get to know them, and I begin to like them, and then I'm just the friend. It's like I am stuck in this horrible friendship nightmare with women, and I can't get out. Wait...Or they are dating already, Or they are married, Or they are not ready for a "relationship" I didn't think I was either, but it's been awhile. What is wrong with me? Why do I question myself so much? I always felt that I was the "Husband" type not the "Boy Friend" type maybe that's why I can't get a date. I've have tried everything, well expect one of those dating sites, or speed dating...Wow! that always reminds me of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin. Maybe that is a bad idea!

Well this is me, as lonely as can be. Well if you read this and you feel like responding, please let me hear your voice. Hear is a bible verse I thought went along with my rant.

Ecclesiastes 4:10-11

If one person falls, the other can reach out for help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more

Warning Sign to a Lost Connection

I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I los...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Weight

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Post a Comment
Read more