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Never Looking Back

I just want to fly home never looking back.
another day away from you is my greatest of fears,
and I am standing in the fire burning for my many sins,
so, you win. 
I can no longer let you in, 
but I can still let you down. 
I feel like every chance I get I know how to ruin it. 
I've never felt so hollow. 
I am an old abandoned church with broken pews and empty aisles. 
Here are my confessions. 
This doubt is drowning me. 
Here is to being silent..
I wish they could develop a cure that would wash out my memories of you. 
But all I can see is your beautiful smile, and I have been hurting for awhile.
So here is my cross it lays on top of my chest,
but the knife still spins inside my heart.
I am walking so close to the edge I could jump,
and even when the sun is shining the tears are still falling.
I am failing in all the categories,
and most days I wish the lights would turn off.
I hope that one day I could get out from underneath the guilt that is crushing me.
I pray that all my regrets in this world could fade away..
I just want to fly home never looking back. 

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