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No More Chasing Ghosts


It has been a struggle for the least part, but I think I see the problems I have created more clearly now. For is to be something I already knew and not seeing it is kind of sad. I mean I could have learned this and be done with it by now. The truth is I have been heartbroken for a long time now, and I have missed someone dearly in my life, but somewhere along the line I forget that this isn’t my life. I forgot it isn’t about me fighting tooth and nail for someone that doesn’t want anything to do with me. I see how easy it is to get distracted, and how much pain it can cause. I am sure I am not the only person that has been through this, but I am telling you that even if you are not a believer please stop before you are so far gone you forget who you are. From what I remember I was happy, and I was finally moving on, but this has defiantly been a setback. I am not one to claim it was “the devil” because honestly I did this. I looked into her eyes and decided I wasn’t giving up no matter what. Making the choice was the wrong one from the start because she was never going to take me back. I thought of all the positives I could think of that could have happened, but even though I was drowning in negatives I didn’t stop. I found myself struggling to be myself and then it just hit me. Here I am doing all that I can to be a better person a better Christian, a better man, but there she was not changed at all, still falling in the same traps she was when we were together. I am not her savior. I am nobodies savior and I never will be that is Jesus’s job, not mine, and for me to continue to try was wrong. It got to a point where I was slowly getting discouraged. She has to find who she is and she has to grow up and learn on her own that all that she wants doesn’t matter because this isn’t her life. I have learned that I am a temple for the Holy Spirit. I need to be pure, and I need to do everything I can to be like Jesus. It was never about what we want in this life. One day I hope she could open her eyes and see that all she wants isn’t that important. We should be living for Christ first, and putting him first before everything. I learned that I am not in any position to show her the way of her error even though I care about her and I want to see her truly happy. It is time to give that up to God and let him handle it. As for me I need to move on and stop hurting myself with the wrong expectations in life. God is my light, and I need to shine for him not for some girl that doesn’t even see who I am anymore. I want to let everyone know that no matter how many struggles I come face to face with there is always that light at the end of the tunnel. God is always there for me. I may make the wrong choices, I may get lost in my sin, but He never gives up on me. I know in my heart that he won’t give up on you either. If you haven’t accepted Christ into your heart I challenge you to do so. I challenge you to step out of the darkness and walk in the light. I was lost before I found Christ and I was homeless, but God has taken me in and has loved me.

      Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

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