Skip to main content

What's On My Mind (part 1)


Have you ever realized that everything in this great big world is slowly falling apart? We spend so much time covering our eyes, but the news never fails to paint this bloody horror of a picture. Growing up as a kid I was blinded by my childhood. I had no idea what was really going on. I am not saying that my Mother did the wrong thing by shielding me, but when the glass shattered I felt like I was lied to. Not only was the world around me a destructive force, but the things my Mother, and Father have been through follows the path of this world. The truth is at the moment of finding out the truth my heart started to race, and I felt I was faced with insanity. The bubble that surrounded me popped. So, I was going to find out sooner or later, but is this the way we should raise our kids?
The way I look at it is there is no good way to deal with this. I was a kid when I found this out, and once I did I was a damaged adult. I went from being a happy excited kid to a depression case teen. It was one big ripple affect on my life. I was the good kid, but I had something dark inside of me, and It just wanted to roam free on the outside of me. I could have wished for someone to talk to until I was blue in the face, but the truth was I just wanted to get it out. Years went by and this anger got deeper and deeper into my heart. I can remember being so cold. It was when I was 23 when this seed decided to take control me. Suicide was on my mind all the time. I really felt that my life could be over. I bottled it up, so well, I knew how to where my mask, and act like my life was all rainbows and butterflies. My father was a drunk, and I dealt with it by lying to myself. I was drowning in this filth of a world.
Of course, I understand everyone won't response the way I did to the news I heard, and the things I saw everyday. Do you think that we can do better as people. We get so caught up in our wants and needs we don't care who we hurt even if it's some excited young kid. Why do we paint this picture with all these lies, so when the kid gets to that age they find out that everything that they knew was all lies. And we wonder why kids turn into the drug addicts, and partiers. This world is encouraging sin until we are drowning in it. And the kids that have been home schooled are hidden, and then go off to college are jumping right into that sis-pool. I may not have kids, but I have two niece's and a nephew, and it scars the hell out of me that one day there bubbles will break just like mine did, and I don't want them to have to go through what I had to. I just have a bad feeling about this.
What can we do as humans? When are we going to finally grow the hell up, and take responsibility for are actions, and stop destroying more generations?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Weight

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Post a Comment
Read more

If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...
Post a Comment
Read more