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What's On My Mind (part 1)


Have you ever realized that everything in this great big world is slowly falling apart? We spend so much time covering our eyes, but the news never fails to paint this bloody horror of a picture. Growing up as a kid I was blinded by my childhood. I had no idea what was really going on. I am not saying that my Mother did the wrong thing by shielding me, but when the glass shattered I felt like I was lied to. Not only was the world around me a destructive force, but the things my Mother, and Father have been through follows the path of this world. The truth is at the moment of finding out the truth my heart started to race, and I felt I was faced with insanity. The bubble that surrounded me popped. So, I was going to find out sooner or later, but is this the way we should raise our kids?
The way I look at it is there is no good way to deal with this. I was a kid when I found this out, and once I did I was a damaged adult. I went from being a happy excited kid to a depression case teen. It was one big ripple affect on my life. I was the good kid, but I had something dark inside of me, and It just wanted to roam free on the outside of me. I could have wished for someone to talk to until I was blue in the face, but the truth was I just wanted to get it out. Years went by and this anger got deeper and deeper into my heart. I can remember being so cold. It was when I was 23 when this seed decided to take control me. Suicide was on my mind all the time. I really felt that my life could be over. I bottled it up, so well, I knew how to where my mask, and act like my life was all rainbows and butterflies. My father was a drunk, and I dealt with it by lying to myself. I was drowning in this filth of a world.
Of course, I understand everyone won't response the way I did to the news I heard, and the things I saw everyday. Do you think that we can do better as people. We get so caught up in our wants and needs we don't care who we hurt even if it's some excited young kid. Why do we paint this picture with all these lies, so when the kid gets to that age they find out that everything that they knew was all lies. And we wonder why kids turn into the drug addicts, and partiers. This world is encouraging sin until we are drowning in it. And the kids that have been home schooled are hidden, and then go off to college are jumping right into that sis-pool. I may not have kids, but I have two niece's and a nephew, and it scars the hell out of me that one day there bubbles will break just like mine did, and I don't want them to have to go through what I had to. I just have a bad feeling about this.
What can we do as humans? When are we going to finally grow the hell up, and take responsibility for are actions, and stop destroying more generations?

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