JACK'S BLOG

1.) Local Natives - Gorilla Manor  Songs to Look for:  Airplanes World News Warning Sign 2.) Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More Songs to Look for: Sigh No More Little Lion Man Thistle & Weeds Dustbowl Dance 3.) Arcade Fire - The Suburbs Songs to Look for: The Suburbs Ready To Start Empty Room Month Of May We Used To Wait 4.) Frightened Rabbit - The Winter of Mixed Drinks Songs to Look for: Swim Until You Can't See Land Skip The Youth Not Miserable Living In Colour Fun Stuff 5.) The Black Keys - Brothers Songs to Look for: Everlasting Light Next Girl Tighten Up The Only One 6.) Elsinore - Yes Yes Yes Songs to Look for: Body of Water Lines Chemicals The General Yes Yes Yes 7.) John Legend & The Roots - Wake Up! Songs to Look for: Hard Times Wake Up Everybody Little Ghetto Boy Wholy Holy Shine 8.) The Gaslight Anthem - American Slang Songs to Look for: Bring It On The Diamond Church Street Choir The Queen of Lower Chelsea Boxer Orphans 9.) Band Of Horses...

I remember our kiss, when you would push up against my lips. I can only play until it reaches the end, and then I have to start over again. Most shatter through the accidental tears, or slip away from the every day fears. I can remember my heart beating, When I heard your footsteps, but I regret remembering when you left. It sticks to my head like a posted note, I just hoped it would fall and float. Your beauty certainly stays, but my heart ache never seems to wash away. There are so many stains, all I can do is pray. I can remember your pent up attitude, it's okay it's what I loved about you. I can remember all of the tears, that fell down your face, yet that pain still doesn't erase. I can't explain my head to you, Because I don't even know the truth. These could be memorable moments in my life, or just silly fantasies about my love for you. I am buried in uncertainty, But I remember.

Please don't sit around wishing for a second chance. Because I am the one that forced your hand. You can soak in all of your regrets all the days of your life, but I was the person that caused your heart ache. There were so many night's I cried alone, but when you were there I felt at home. You were the new life I so desperately needed. I can't explain the things I pushed you into, I don't have anymore good reasons. We stumbled together broke, I prayed for someone to hold, and you came damn close, but in the end I ruined you, and all the beautiful things about you. Some days I wished I wasn't alive, because then you would've survived. At one point you were my blue eyes, and you were all that I needed. You were an Angel, and I filled you with lies. You were so sweet, until I feed you my greed. You were "I'll give", and I turned you into "I need" You stabbed my heart, but I think I stole your soul. My filthy sin had t...

In my life there has been a lot of crashes meaning things happen to me, and I can't really recall why it happened. Trust me it wasn't the greatest things. As a person waiting for it all to end, I never thought a positive thing could happen to me. Then one day I prayed to God for a good thing. I didn't understand why it turned out to be so horrible in the end. I should trust that God does things to help me along, or am I being burned? So my pray was answered. I prayed for someone to love me, and be there for me. A girl came into my life, and despite all of my problems I loved her with all of my heart, and I would have done anything for her. Do you blame me she gave me a reason to fight again, She gave me love, she changed my life, or was all that God? Because there was one day where I woke up, and everything was different. I felt it in the air. I saw it in her eyes, and I heard it in her voice, and then when she kissed me I knew something was different. Lets just say the rel...

Have you ever realized that everything in this great big world is slowly falling apart? We spend so much time covering our eyes, but the news never fails to paint this bloody horror of a picture. Growing up as a kid I was blinded by my childhood. I had no idea what was really going on. I am not saying that my Mother did the wrong thing by shielding me, but when the glass shattered I felt like I was lied to. Not only was the world around me a destructive force, but the things my Mother, and Father have been through follows the path of this world. The truth is at the moment of finding out the truth my heart started to race, and I felt I was faced with insanity. The bubble that surrounded me popped. So, I was going to find out sooner or later, but is this the way we should raise our kids? The way I look at it is there is no good way to deal with this. I was a kid when I found this out, and once I did I was a damaged adult. I went from being a happy excited kid to a depression case teen....

Hiatus.Hiatus.Hiatus.....What can I say, It's always frustrating waiting 50 days until my favorite show comes back on television. This never gets easier, especially when during these 50 days I have 38 of them off for my winter break, but I digress.  I have been a fan of Supernatural since the very first episode. I remember seeing a preview for the show with Dave Matthew's Out Of My Hands . I remember thinking "Ah, I'll give it a chance." In fact now that I think about it, the first episode I saw was ' Wendigo' , but anyways it was the first time I began to get into a show after the cancellation of Angel. I was hooked right away. Jensen started early on with making me laugh. Now of course the show has transformed into something else in it's sixth season. Don't worry I am not one of those fans that complain about how the brothers aren't like they used to be in the first couple of seasons. I completely understand their character development, and ...

Interview. Part 1 What did you want to be when your where a kid?, Why? - “Growing up I always played and watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I for some reason wanted to be Raphael when I grew up, but I didn’t have a clue I was to young. My family jokes me to this day about that. The honest truth is that I don‘t really remember what I thought I wanted to be. I guess I was to busy being a kid.” Rank your top five movies? - 5. The Dark Knight   4. Inception   3. Smart People   2. Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind   1. Garden State Why these five movies? - “I like movies I can relate to. Have a connection with. Kind of like when your meeting someone for the first time.” If you had the chance to meet somebody, anyone who would it be? - “I always thought that this would be hard for me, but now ten years later this is very simple. I would like to meet Ellen Page because she is my age and I think we would get along. It’s more likely we could s...

 Dear God,     I hope that you will receive this letter because this is all I have left. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. I wanted to say that there is still something swimming inside of me, and I…just thought that it left for good, but you know that isn’t true. I have been propped up to failure, and I lye down a loser. You know that ability you gave us all, and it’s when you can shield yourself from the horrors, and then one day you can see all of the lies, and all of a sudden your conflicted, tormented, disturbed. You start to doubt everything around you. You start to question your every move. I actually got to the point where I couldn’t trust myself anymore. I found ways to lie, and break my own insides. But we are made in your image, right? They ask me how can I be so honest. All I can say to you is that I am a fake, I am not what you made me to be. I know it’s only been a year, but I am a disgrace to everyone...

 I miss the celebration, of another year older. These days get so long, I forget about this perfect song. We wrote this song for you, and we sing this with our hearts. What if you fell, where would you land? I am sure you will follow through, It gets so cold here when not by you, Lets walk to the edge and follow the sun. I will stay by your side, I will never lose sight. This life has seen better days, but let's celebrate today. We share this day with you, Even when we are just passing through, We are still searching for something for you. Let's howl at the moon, As we wish to never get old. I know it will take some time, to get this day off your mind. Let's forget about the remaining hours, and just have some fun! And as we stare off into this world. I wish you happy birthday girl, I sure miss you!

  So much for this loss of control, I am feeling so cold, What is happening to my soul? Stumbling through the days of old. Don't you panic! Don't you get nervous, Don't you run with your fear. It feels like a dream, but everything is so real. Don't give up on this fight. Everything will eventually be alright. So much for this so called brand new day, everyone just keeps on passing away. I wish you would stay, but in the end you always fade. Don't be so miserable, Don't leave yourself alone, Though things seem strange, everything will eventually change. So much for those easy escapes, and so much for this perfect life. Don't you lose your sight, Don't you lose the fight, Don't make the wrongs right. So much for this tragedy, So much for these horrifying memories. Don't be so rude, Don't be so cruel, because it's alright Don't you yell at me, Don't lose your faith. So much for the blood, So much for t...

"Well, it's that time of year again where I step aside from my blog activity, and put time into other work. I am currently writing some concept poems about finding yourself. I have three to four more poems I want to post before the holidays, but after that I will be taking a break until 2011. I am also in the middle of re-writing a short story because I know I can do better with what I have. Hopefully I'll have that to post for the new year. Next year I am going to try my best to sticking to a theme. Also before the new year I'll post my top twenty albums of 2010."

I am walking out of my house, and I am finally taking out the trash. All the dirt washes from my hands, But these stains won't come out. I scrubbed them until my hands bleed. Each day it nags at me, and this day I can't take it anymore. I love these clothes, but I hate all of the holes. Year after year they get old, and the stitches don't hold. I wish I could just throw them away, but I have a hard time letting go. I gave up my heart, and my soul, but nobody really knows. You can see the damage they have taken, but these feelings I am not faking. It's as if my heart is the shelve, and the smell reminds me of you, and all of the things we used to do. I am walking out of my house, and I am taking out the trash, but it's time this garbage finally goes out.

 You have broken me all the way down. down to the dirt underneath my feet. down to blood on my knee's. You have broken all of me, now! I am shattered like these mirrors. I am controlled by my fears. This will be the last, you'll see. Some fight you gave me, when I pushed you away, You sure showed me, with all of your screams. You have broken me all the way down. This will be the last, you'll see. What a chance you took, What an effort you made, When you missed every shot. You just walked away. In this darkness when you find this, I will finally be free, you'll be in the light, you'll see, now it's time for you to leave. I hope your as broken as me.

I used to be this perfect son, and now I just don't want follow in my father's footsteps anymore. Once you have sinned, You'll always sin, so I carry my past up over my head. I used to be the one that made his parents proud, but now I don't live inside my father's house. I struggled making this bed, and now I can't fall asleep in it. These things used to be so clear, but now I just can't figure them out. I want to be living in the past, but instead I am living a dream, everything is so imaginary! I am sick of writing about, these people I don't want to write about anymore. Now I am seeing so many different things, but now I am not quite believing in any of them. I lost all of my good friends, or at least the ones I used to know well. I used to be someone you can look to, now I am someone you look from. I used to see the simpler side to things, but now all I see is the sin I live in. I could lose my mind, I should cov...

I raced throughout this tragedy, and every step was made for me to fail. I look upon the stars, but this light doesn't guide me. I felt the taste in my mouth, I just want to feel your love, Why can't I just see you? I keep on fighting these waves, they knock me up against these walls. I am known for falling face down, but despite the agony, God, I will always look to you. These days I have been stumbling, These days I have been tripping over myself. Everything is crumbling down on my shoulders. I am sorry for my addictions, They get a hold of me some times. I wish I could speak the truth, and when I fall down on my knee's, You would come down and listen to me. If I begged you, would you come? Would you come closer to my heart, and pour in your strength? Please don't run away. This is just another one of my mistakes. I can't seem to get away from this distraction. It sets inside of my head, and I lose all of my control. How can I fall so hard? I am so addicted to th...

Say goodbye to sleep, I think this pill is exactly what I need. This pain throws me right against the walls, and I am standing on all of my flaws. I can hear the voices so clearly, Chew me up, and swallow me! Everyone keeps laughing at me, and I can't stop tearing up my head. I tried to walk around with good intentions, but the truth is I really don’t have one. I blame myself for being to much like somebody else. And I hope to God I can figure all of this out. I am climbing up such a damaged path, I just don’t want to let myself fall back. Say goodbye you lair, Hard of speaking any type of truth. You just can't own up to anything. Only in your dreams can you inspire, And you'll never admit that you started that fire. You took the one thing that I cared about, and now I am left with an emptiness in my soul. Even In a crowded room, I can't feel this disease taking over me. It doesn’t give me an excuse to look away. I can’t see nothing but your bru...

I am sure I fell last night, I fell to my grave were you stay, and once we said goodbye, I had all the worst thoughts. I broken into the dust that I am. No one else will know these lonely dreams. No one else will know that part of me. I am running from this pain. I am still driving away, and I am sorry every single day. I won't always love such selfish things. I won't always be a nervous wreck. This wasn't our time to decide, I knew it wasn't our time, From all the yelling and shouting. No one else will have me like you do . No one else will have me, only you. You can sit there alone forever, You cry your eyes out, but If your waiting for the right time , what are you hoping for? I used to be ready and now I am my worst fear! Hold on tight, don't give away the ending. I am the one thing that said bye. Amazing how this still is, this fall I would have been twenty three. I won't always love what I never had. I won't always ...

Dream: I love this night, It's so peaceful and quiet. The moon is my light. I can hear the crickets chirping, and there is a cool breeze, that gives me a chill. Reality: Can you really be trusted? I can see your heart rusting. I heard your words before, but this time its all different. It sounds a little upsurged. Why is this happening to me? I never beat you, I never raised my hand, I never yelled out. How can I believe in your selfish deceit? Why did you find me? I can see this in your eyes, your love for me has died. But you continue to lie. my heart understands, but why must you pour down pain? You know my name, and I'll love you anyway. Dream: I love this night, the stars light up the sky, There's no worries or questions. I am walking on this cracked sidewalk, and I am following the flickering street lamps. I love how I can give her my jacket to keep her warm, and I didn't even think twice. I love how we can see the reflection of the moon in the ...

www.menatthecross.org Whenever I feel angry or frustrated I should be joyful, so that anger doesn't build up in my heart. I should be gentle and faithful. On Saturday October 30, 2010 I went to Virgina Beach to London bridge Church. I never felt more sure about anything in my life then at this event. As a young Christian in my teachings, and age, I felt this helped me with so many questions in my life. The lessons that I learned where most important in my life as a Christian. The Lord gave these speakers, and performers a gift, and a message, and they made that point clear to all men. I got so much out of this experience that I am looking forward to next year. I am ready to do my part. I learned important lessons. What a father, and husband is suppose to be. Even though my earthly father wasn't the best role model for me, my real father, my dad, my lover, my hope, my savior, my everything will always be there throughout my life. He will be there from the beginning, all the wa...