Okay, first off I am not going to
pretend I know one thing about Girls, because as a young male I am completely
confused. There are many ways that I can go at this topic. Before I go on and
on I just want to say to all the girls out in the world, no matter what age or
race that, you are beautiful. With what I can understand with the girls that I
have dated and the one’s I have talked to on a daily basis, that there is a lot
of self-esteem issues going on. From what I can gather this stems from the way
your father treats you as your growing up. The reason I am writing about this
is because I want to let you all know what I feel and think about it. Every
single one of you girls are beautiful, and you need to see that yourselves. The
last couple of relationships I have had there was always the same question that
they had “Am I Beautiful?” While one girl continued to tell me that she wasn’t
good enough for me, that I needed to be with someone prettier. She even wanted
me to look at other girls while I was with her, but I never did. I thought that
she was very beautiful and my eyes stayed on her the whole entire time. Then
the next relationship it didn’t matter how many times I told her that she was
beautiful she denied it every single time. Again my main focus was on her, and
I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. “You
are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” (Song of Solomon
4:7) My confusion lies at how can someone like me who is nice, kind, and
understanding continue to get lied to, cheated on, and dumped? But after all of
my words are said, and all of my feelings are spilled they still feel like they
aren’t beautiful. Is there something I am doing wrong here, or is this saying
right “Nice guys finish last”? I heard this saying my entire life, and I hoped
it wasn’t true because at heart I am a nice guy. As I get to know more girls I
learn that there problems become even deeper. I understand my job isn’t to fix
them, but I feel overwhelmed, and also lonely at the same time, if that is
possible. “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the
putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be
the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and
quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.”(1 Peter 3:3-4). So
here I am fighting this because I want to show them that they are beautiful on
the inside and out. I turn into this Counselor/Friend. I am not here
complaining I love to be able to help or just listen if someone is going through
a rough time in their life. I try my best to think about it, and give good
advice. I am having this impossible force come at me of self-esteem, and I
can’t seem to reverse it. “Have I not
commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be
dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you
go.”(Joshua 1:9) In the end I just hope I helped someone, and that I made
an impact in their lives, it sounds better than just being a bad memory. So to
all you girls out there that are struggling with finding beauty inside
yourself, I am here to say that it’s there, and I believe that with all my
heart because God as put it there. Now it’s time for you to finally see it.
This goes for all women as well, I said girls because I have yet to meet a
women that has opened up to me like these girls do, and I have only dated
girls.
Here I am caught in this dance, Spinning until I finally get my chance. I’ll put one foot forward, I’ll put one foot back, But until we move together, We will continue to lose each other. So here is my hand, I’ll open myself up wide, So you can forever live inside. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it out, So here is my soul I’ll let it go. So here is my life I give it up for you. Here I am to finally lose myself, I know you could truly help. I’ll leave my burdens at the door, I’ll leave my trash at the altar, And I will live this life, The way you taught me. So In my final steps, Maybe our footing wasn’t perfect, Maybe our wording wasn’t all clean, But in the end you were forever here to love me. Here I am searching for you. So here is my heart I pour it all out, So here is my soul I’ll finally let it go. So here is my life I’ll forever give it up for you.
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