In the beginning of 2011 I wrote a post in which I called
this year to be the year in question. The question is, was it really? The truth
is 2011 surprised me to the fullest. This year I struggled with a lot of things,
but as of now days before 2012, I am pretty damn happy about this year. I once
wondered if I would ever find someone that I could love and trust. The answer
to that is I found so much more. I found beauty. At one point of this year I
felt that I have finally found my other half. I found the girl that was going
to love me no matter what. I found that I can lose her just as fast as I found
her way back on January 23. I am not here to get all sad and tell you how I
want to end my life; in fact it’s just the opposite. I learned a great lesson,
and that is there are people out there that have love in their hearts. Even
though it didn’t work out, and it has been really hard letting her go. I mean I
think about her a lot. I still care about her life even though I am not in it
anymore. I pray about her every day. I am not here to call her out, because I
still love her, and if she wants to be far away from me than I am willing to
suck up my feelings and move on. I know that sounds crazy, but isn’t that what
love is all about? If you truly love someone you would do anything for them. In
my case it’s walking away. What can I say? she was the best thing that happened
to me this year. I loved every memory that still floats around my head. There
wasn’t really any bad memory besides our break-up. I truly believe that we had
something more than just “puppy love” But anyways, This year has put all those
things from years past in front of me. Because I know my goals now, I know what
I am looking for, and I know all I need is God. Whenever something bad happens
in my life, or something good He is always there. This year I realized that I
am a loving person that truly cares about people, I learned that when I am
truly happy the child deep inside comes out. This year gave me a lot of days of
smiling, the most in a long time. This year I lost someone in my life that
meant a lot to me. I struggled with this for months. I proved this year when I
put in hard work I can do anything. I had multiple trips to the movie theater
to see; Green Hornet, Roommate, Adjustment Bureau, The Help,
Footloose, Contagion, Paranormal Activity 3, and Twilight: Breaking Dawn. The best movie I saw this year was 50/50. I spent the year searching endless
hours for new music. I had fun this year. Yeah, I have my days were I am sad
about what happened, but I trust that it was for the best. It is not every day
that you meet someone that has this beauty inside that puts a smile on your
face. This year I read a lot more books than years past. This year was awesome,
exciting, exhilarating, beautiful, amazing. I kind of feel bad because I don’t
want it to end. I want to go all the way back to the beginning and do it all
over again. The truth is if I could I won’t change much. In fact I honestly
believe it would have all ended differently if I could have went back and
changed some things. Now that I have told you about the great things that went
on in my life this year here are some things that didn’t go so well. (1) The passing away of a great Uncle. (2)
Breaking up with a truly amazing person. (3) The relationships “Nothing fights”.
(4) Almost getting kicked out of my house. (5) Not finding a job. (6) Dental
problems. It’s hard to say I had no regrets, but that would be lying. I
regret not trying harder to find a job. I regret rising my voice at the people
I love. I regret not doing more to help out my mother. Of course I can go on
for days. But in closing this year was my favorite. What I want for 2012 is; I
want be real friends with that beautiful girl instead of someone to avoid. I
want to find a job. I want to fall in love all over again. I want to make new
friends. I want to buy a car. I want to find my own place. Most importantly I
want to have a smile on my face. So I raise my glass to one of the best years
of my life. I hope 2012 will be even better.
rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t...
Comments