JACK'S BLOG

I can’t decide, oh God how I have tried. I’ve lifted you high, and you continue to tear me apart. I surrendered my heart Then you go and ruin me. Here I am out falling for your tricks. I am the fool for you, Trapped inside your eyes, Caged for the awful filth, I am dazed and confused stuck in your silly maze, but I am falling again for you, loving you every wrong step of our path. we’ve broken the barriers, smashed all the boundaries. I encourage our future, but your obsessed with the past, how could you still look back? I want to know all your damages, How all the scars cut you so deep. I want to leave this so called home, without you here I am broken and alone. Are you my everything? I can’t decide.

these are my instructions follow them carefully, and I won’t break internally. make the best of me, because I am one of a kind, and no one else can duplicate me. i’ll love you until the very end, hurting myself so that you will let me in. i’ll never give up even though I can fail. here are the directions, read them with ease, and I will surrender all that I am. I come with this baggage, that may or may not crush me to pieces. I am known to some times walk in circles. i’ll be your most loyal of friends, breaking myself to keep you upright. i’ll do all the suffering and save you from myself. I give you these coordinates, take this journey on your own, at your destination you will find my love, and all the beauty in the world, but though I couldn’t come, you will finally learn where I am from.

Every day I dream of a paradise, where I could break free from the stereotypes, Somewhere I can shake off this disease, even though I created these catastrophes, now I must suffer through them, or let them begin to bury me alive. I have faked a better half of the decade, and I have grown to learn to hold back these tears. and when the pain hits so deep, I begin to fight the unimaginable and I begin to attempted to destroy the unthinkable, as the days become more suffocating, my mind becomes overcrowded, and sometimes I feel trapped inside. all the walls close in on me, my ego becomes bruised, and my subconscious stays broken, in here I can see the darkness, I can feel it feeding on all my darkest fears. oh death, won’t you set me free, because I have done this to myself, I’ve created a prison. https://inbetweenjackswords.wordpress.com/2015/07/05/prisoner/

Awake my soul, because sometimes I can’t fight anymore, I am still burning through my core. I still feel broken and alone, even when I know your all around. I am unforgiven, I can’t stop myself from sinning, I am not sure where my heart is. I indulge every dark desire drowning in oceans of sins from where should I begin, this feels sickening, I know I can’t do this alone. I fail to repent, such inability to look forward, I am not sure where my mind has gone. Awake this love, because I am stuck in my old ways, the past digs a hole deep inside of me. A darkness has taken hold, won’t you shine your light in me? https://inbetweenjackswords.wordpress.com/2015/06/18/awake-my-soul/

rain falls from the blackness in the sky, the water soaks the earth. here we stay a float, but slowly we are drowning. the mud grabs us by the ankles, pulling us into the ground. everyday is a struggle to move. With all of these days, we carry out this weight, walking closer to the pavement. we tippy toe across the marsh, crashing faster each time. crushed to our knees, our hearts slow to a beat. we question our strength, savoring every last drop, like the very last scotch. and at the end of the day, when the moon covers the view. your soft hand pressures, then squeeze’s these muscles and slowly cracks the bones, you push down upon me, I pray you don’t break me. With all the pain and agony, we continue to push forward, but we question our lives, always struggling to stand up straight. fearing our inevitable fate. carrying this horrible weight. Note; In all honesty this is about the world and the struggle to live, have faith in God, but the weight some t

Let me crawl to the very end, because this is already over. We fight like dogs, the savage warriors, the hopeless murderers, Killing all the ones that are wrong. so we pray for humility, but we face mediocrity. Always falling short of his glory. I feel stupid and worthless, so here are my fists bloodier then yours, and here is my heart slowly decaying. I am not a saint nor a superhero, I am not made of steel, I don't wear an "S" on my chest, and I am not bullet proof. I am a loser. We lose that is what we do best, Crying our eyes out, Screaming at the ceiling, We fail because we were lied to. We struggle because we were abused, We allow him to build us up, but you always tears us apart. you crush this ever breaking heart. Won't you load up on guns, and take me for what I am worth, because I am not your sure bet, I won't carry you to safety. I am not your saving grace, I am not made of steel, I don't wear an "S" on my c

the wind pushes beyond the trees, timber to all of our weakness, they break off like branches. the rain fell like our tears, when I had to watch you leave, but now I am like the raging sea, crashing. When the sun blinds our true intentions, we sink deeper into our regrets, and drowning in our attractions. Our addictions become our nightmares. I saw your face inflicted in the mirror, and the tears fell so wrong, we weren’t the people we once were. it’s been awhile since we were just okay. but I like to let this darkness swallow me whole, and I'm not sure if i ever want to let it go. We pay for the truth, dreams become our quick escape, while nightmares are the reality we live in. torment becomes our fate. https://inbetweenjackswords.wordpress.com/

It came up through the floors, deep within the woodwork, and I could hear the strength of the wind, breaking branches, leaving devastation. And your tears reminded me of, the chaos we had endured, but there was no stopping this feeling, that tingle in your bones, that tickle on the surface of your skin. and what if our words were our mistakes, and our futures had become something that was faked? how could we live with each other? maybe there is time to repair, but here we are getting scared, and so we run from the truth. Only if I could take all of you back, the darkness would be rewritten, to a work of fiction. then we could relive the start, the beginning of our hearts. God knows we will make these mistakes, but I’ll do anything to keep us safe. https://inbetweenjackswords.wordpress.com/