JACK'S BLOG

"Everyday I wake up thinking that everything is wrong, and I want a big change in my life. I realize that nothing can go perfectly in one single day. I know that it doesn't matter what I do I can't plan anything, I can't wish, and hope for the day where everything in life comes to my door step. Deep inside my soul I feel like I have something locked away. I never know when, or what it is.....I feel like it could be good, but how would I know. The last couple of weeks I have been away from school, and it's been awhile since I held down a job. You can go fishing with all of the things swimming around in my head. For the most part I got a lot of time to think, but that's just the point. Everyday I feel like things could be the very same, and nothing changes. It's another summer in this city, and again I can't find a job. I am halfway to thirty and a career is in question. But for the one thing that is certain I finally met someone special. Someone real to

dear God I have been feeling like this: Lost with no hope in site for days. I have been trying to reach you, but I've lost my everything. dear God I know you have your reasons, I see you moving mountains, I see you moving trees. dear God I been wondering how. I have been thinking a spell, I have been praying out loud. dear God I wish I could touch you, how strange I feel sometimes I do. If your love shines through, why do we suffer like we do? dear God I will always need you. Especially when I am all alone.

My chest is tighter, and it's getting harder to breath, I think we are all going blind, but I am not caving in. Just one more taste, and I'll be believing in what you are saying, trying to do something, but I’m paranoid and I can't react because everything that is happening, it's like the sun burning down on my back, but I am not caving in. It gets in me so easily, but it won't ever get out. It’s so contagious. I am addicted to my mess. This disease just bleeds, and it feeds off of my greatness. I could lose my head. Sick to our stomachs, We could lose everything, but I am not caving in.

Listen my Son, Watch your back... Keep this knife in your sack. Don't get distracted by this so called United States. When you start trying to save this world, It's going to mess with your mind. From the pour lonely outside, To the selfish greedy Inside. Don't let the leaders of this nation fool you, They are corrupted too. With all their money. With all their lies. You must be careful because on the outside they are kind, They all look just fine, but they aren't like this all the time. Abortion, Accusing, Adultery, Blasphemy, Condemning, Deceit, Desire this is what lies inside. Son this is very important, You can't trust anyone these days, They will rob you blind. You see this nation? It's always at war with itself. They have so much power, but they seem to blow that all away. I know you will keep trying, but this world is already destroyed. Don't lose hope, Because He is coming soon, with the greatest weapon, His love of all.

In one instant words are meaningless, and the mute run the race. It's not what happen, but what we are faced with. Chaos is now freedom is leaving us. The colors bleed through the floors, Drowning your weakness, and fears. Slipping on my sloppy seconds... We failed to fix us, You nailed our hearts to these doors, but we walked out without love.. We took our knifes and killed our dreams. This world is nothing what it seems. It's raining...it's pouring This broken world is burning, We are trapped in our sin, It attacks us from within, Until we get back up again.

I can see your worried eyes, I can see the skies are gray, but the fields are burning red. There is darkness that lies deep inside. These are such uncertain times. Put your helmets on tightly, It's gasoline rainbows burning brightly. It's hard for me to put a smile on rightly, I am pushed to an angry sea.. Drowning it's not just me. Satan settle down, Keep your trousers on. You can warm up the globe, but leave my wretched soul alone. I don't know you, and I don't owe you a damn thing. We can run freely, Without you here I can be me. you can burn in these waters, just listen to your father, and no more gasoline rainbows. and take away the deathblows. let us free, watch us go.

I jumped from the top of this building, only to find myself survive the fall. I can feel the badness below, and it's nothing like a breeze at all. There is no way to stop them, You can see these cuts on my knee's. I bleed and they raise up... There is simply no breathing with ease. The watchers keep on watching, The doers can't stop doing this to me. We are suppose to be human, but instead we fight like animals on the streets. So pile up all your money, Pile it all up to the sky. Then you can climb up to Jesus, You know he loves a man that tries. So come on Darling take shelter, because it's the destruction of all mankind. I can see into my brothers heart.. I can see what makes his skin so hot. I can see that he is the same as me, I can see that when he cuts he bleeds, But these so called people feed off of him. and bleed there disease all over God's love. But that's just not enough......there always wanting more, more, and more.

We are living in a basement, hiding from the dampness. Before we sleep we yell and scream, It's not what we wished it seemed. The only thing that's safe... Is the love inside the sleeping bag, and we slept there almost every night. But she has left me for a dirty kitchen floor, and a scorched door. Darling I am drunk, and everything that I have loved burns to the ground, so pack your plastic bag and come back home. getting hit with burning bullets, and the girls are all getting sick. It's time to get to drinking..... And I am wasted, you can taste it. Don't look at me that way, Cause I'll be hanging from a rope, and I will haunt you like a ghost. If I had a women she would burn up, because I can't help but play with matches. I could try to fix them with these ratchets, But they just fall to blood and ashes.