Warning Sign to a Lost Connection

I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I lose all feeling in my legs. I keep on thinking even when I got my head down. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to wake from this nightmare. I want to scream out loud. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'm losing my head, and I'm not alright. I'm sick of being every one's push over. I'm sick of hiding behind the light. My mouth is tied shut and only my words speak. Breathing becomes so hard when my lungs are so weak. I only can drink so much before I drowned my insides out. I only can eat so much before my stomach gets sick. I only can bleed so much before I collapse to the floor. I only can hate so much before I hurt myself. I only can scream so much before my confidence goes numb. I WANT TO BREAK! I want to be more than just a fake. I want to let everything go. I want to scream out loud my loudest. What if I lost it? What if I laughed in your face? What if I couldn't take this anymore? I keep on feeling for a pulse because I can't find a connection, and all of this pain just stays the same. I'm surrounded by this curse, but being trapped in here hurts the worst. ( I have to be honest and say some of the lines in this poem are from these bands: Modest Mouse, Lifehouse, and 30 Seconds to Mars.)