I would like to be serious for a second and say a couple of things that are on my mind at the moment. I don't really know how much I can take. It's this job, school and all the bad news about people I care about. I can't take it anymore. I have no food, no gas, no money. How is this not depressing? It seems to be like this every year. I really don't think I can live like this for another year. I mean who can? I'm fucking sick of this life. I work my ass off to get nothing at all. When is all of this going to pay off? The truth is that it's not! I'm going to be struggling through life for years. Nobody wants a writer that can't even afford to get out of the crap I'm in. Let me be real, four years of fucking school is a waste of my time. In the end it won't get me nothing, not a job, not a family, not money. It's just another thing that's in my way. I mean sixteen years of my life is gone and I don't have a damn thing to show for it. I'm so broke I can't even get to my job, I have no food, with no heat in the coldest time of the year. Every check that I get is gone with in the day that I get it. Save. Fuck that! who has money to save anymore. Of course everything is up on price. It seems as if they ( the government) wants anyone that is struggling through life to stay that way. While they bathe in all the fucking money they can get their hands on, laughing at us. I have been saying for years that I'm going to start saving! "Your 22 it's the right thing to do." What the fuck, when have I had time to save, when everything in this GODDAMN U.S. of A is so much FUCKING MONEY. I can't keep my head above water. This is suppose to be the happiest time of the year, but not for me, all of my family lives twelve hours away and I can't afford to visit them. Come On! when have I had time. I mean GOD for Bid I miss a week or two of school and work. “My goodness wait if I did that then I would fail and lose my job Merry Fucking Christmas to you Chris!” What the hell am I going to do? Fuck what the hell am I saying not like there is anybody out there. Now that I’m alone shit seems to find away to rub it in my face. I’m standing at work and everyone that comes in the store has someone, but me. It’s like I’m the only lonely fuck in the area. It truly sucks! How come I can’t find anyone. I’m shy at first. Wait! “ I’m quiet so I can’t be trusted, I might be crazy.” The truth is that there the freaks and I’m just avoiding them. I’m not that bad of a person. This is just that fucking NY anger that comes out from time to time. Am I just to ugly that nobody wants to be with me? I'm losing my mind, but I'm reminded to suck it up and hide everything on the inside. I’m really having a great time finding trustworthy friends. I wish people would just come out and say what they think of me to my face. All they do is hide, Are they really friends, or just playing the part? I really can’t take another heart ache, not this time of year. I feel like I’m running in a big fucking circle because I was in the same situation last year, but I didn’t have a job. You would think getting a job would help, but think again. Maybe a job that pays more! I wish I could just get up and walk away from this, but life sucks so I’ll have to deal with it. I don’t know what to do, I don’t have a doubt in my mind that things will get worse. There is nothing like getting kick while being already down.
If you have any comments about what I have said then feel free to write them. I love to read what people have to say. I don’t really express myself like this, but I felt that I needed to get this out.
You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. (Matthew 24:6-8; Mark 13:7-8 NIV).Mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God -- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV). But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. (2 Peter 3:10 NIV). An
Comments
As for this post.. I agree with you. This government is shit. But as I type, as we sleep, as we breathe- the economy's suckage is rising.
Gas prices are plumeting. That's a plus, AMIRITE?!
Food prices are supposedly going to drop due to the lowering prices in gas.
but as for having no food- embrace it. Atleast you don't have to worry about getting fat, eh? ;)
Things are hard. Personally, I can't wait to grow up and be on my own. I'm scared shitless that I'm going to be in the same situation as your post describes- but sometimes, it's worth it.
'Keep on keepin on.'
what you go through- your struggles, your depression, etc.- this is what makes you into the person you are. Sure, your life is shit.. but remember, you're not robotic. You have emotions, you have feelings, you have deep thoughts.
You're an aspiring writer?
Take advantage of this shitty lifestyle, and use it for amazing material.