Skip to main content

1/10/2009

Wow! it's 2009 already, I'm still shocked! Well I went to my home of Buffalo, NY for the holidays. I was there for only 13 days, but I really wish I could have stayed longer. I took a bus that took 22 hours. That will be one of the things I will never want to do again. I mean that was hell. Besides all of that I'm back to my crap life. Well it's not all that bad, but I think I'm ready for a change. I started my last semester at COA, and I can't wait until it's over. WOW! this really does suck. I can remember as a kid saying this same thing about school. I guess that I will always hate school. I made a joke on the way home to NC and I thought it was pretty funny. I said that I was driving to my brokenness, not much but it is so true. I haven't time since I got home to really sit down and write something good. I really liked how I lashed out that last time. I hate being afraid to say what's on my mind, so I think that I'm going to speak louder now. How many people are really reading this blog? As far as I know there is 1-5 people that really read this blog. What can I say life is hard, and you never know what is going to hit you in the side of the face next. I know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I feel that moving is the best thing for me, and I can't wait until it happens. I already know that the grass is the same fucking shit brown on the other side as it is on this side, but believing that there is something else out there is hope. Knowing that family is there for me and I can speak to them about my difficulties, they might not be able to tell me how to handle it, but they are willing to help me through the pain.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

If I Could I Would

If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...

The Longest Day Dream

Is this what it takes to make an illusion, or Will this ever come to be the truth? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I dream of these horrible things? I just want to know your view. It hurts to know what is not meant to be real. It hurts never knowing what will hurt next. I don’t want you to forget about me. I don’t ever want to go far away. I want to stick around forever. I want to stand up and fight. I don’t want to lay down and die. I want to be more than a weird nobody. I can’t breath on my own. I can’t stand on my own to feet. I need you more than I can imagine. Tell me that everything is O.K! I wish I could say that everything is alright. We can run away and live on forever. Where ever I go the pain follows my soul. Please make it go away from here. I want us to be free from this rule. I want us to run and never think again. I feel like this is my dream, and When I wake my smile will disappear. I want to say hey, everything is great! I want to hold you and talk of the good thin...

LeTTer: 9/26/09

Dear Readers, I am so sorry for the way I have been acting on this Blog. I have wrote somethings that were flat out mean. I don't want to lose any one's trust. I try so hard to write what I am feeling, but lately I have just been saying things that were mean. I wish the people that I have hurt can find it in there hearts to trust me again. I do wish everything can go back the way it was, but all we can do is grow as humans. Maybe we are stronger for this mistake, this misunderstanding. I want to say that I forgive you for what happened and I am here with my arms open. I want us to be close again. As friends for now! I will continue to keep everyone in my prayers. I hope that everyone feels better. Just be positive about life. Take a walk and enjoy what God has created. Love, JACK