I can remember lying awake,
Laughing about what feelings I will fake next.
I was always tired of thinking about you.
I hated everything you did to me.
I hated everything I did.
I faked my smile.
I faked my happiness.
I faked my laughter.
Most important I faked Love.
I can remember saying I love you first.
I did whatever you wanted.
I never had desires of kids or marriage.
I hated all of your ideas.
I hated all my ideas.
Most important I hated myself.
I didn't like what I had become.
I couldn't stand your conversions.
Everything we did was all a waste.
I rarely ever slept well.
My head was drowning in nightmares.
Yes I cried, and Yeah I wept.
What if everything we did wasn't real?
All the emotions I didn't feel.
I just wanted to feel something good for once.
I never wanted to do what you wanted.
I never wanted to do what I wanted.
When you were Sad,
I was pissed off.
When you were Happy,
I was Sad.
Why you were trying to find your life.
I was to busy fighting the war inside my head.
Most Important I hated myself.
This was never a blessing.
It was never meant to be.
The fights were all because of me.
What if I never Loved you?
At the time I lied to everyone I knew.
Especially the one's closest to me.
What if you never knew me?
I didn't even know me!
I am sorry to have to tell you this,
but I think you fell in Love with Depression.
You felt pity for Depression.
It was never the real me!
If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
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