I always feel as if I could just control where this ruin down bus is going, but it takes me hundreds of times just to realize that I am just a passenger. How easy would it be for me to just run from this constant pain? But I already know it won’t ever go away until I deal with it. Until I can face the person that craved this into my heart. It takes two people to tango. She won’t seem to write her side. I think she’s loving the whole run and hide part, but she is young. She doesn’t yet realize that pain will follow you like a black cloud. I can recall at one point I was trying to explain this to her whether she heard me or not is up to her. There are always times where I feel like I can understand the point of view of another person. It takes while, but I get it. There is no possible way to look from there eyes. It doesn’t matter how hard you try. Just another reason to bring up the same old problems. In this time loop that my brain is trapped in I wanted to believe in anything that covered up the truth. I was angry and any stupid idea would come to me.
I’m sick with temptations.
Please show the dirt pile,
Where you buried my heart.
I prayed for angry things.
I screamed I’ve paid for this.
I suffered in an ugly world.
Where beautiful things are covered with dirt and leafs.
I felt her so much today.
I felt the pain as she drove away,
But here comes the fault.
You’ll never know where it comes from.
The heart makes you feel,
It makes the pain more real.
There is no way to run forever.
I try so hard to take the black from the gray,
But I don’t know if my soul can take,
Without the heart the love is forever ripped apart.
I'm losing a little bit of me inside. All of the breakdowns drive them to hide. I'm wandering around hoping to find something that will never be true. My mind is spinning away from me. I can't see what's in front of me. I tried to be someone else, but the pain doesn't go nowhere else. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to my knee's. I want to scream out loud. I can't take this anymore. I'm stuck in this hole, and there is nobody to dig me out. With my back up against the wall, I can't see my dreams when your standing in my way. I'm staring at the future begging for the past. I know the good times, but they don't ever last. I WANT TO BREAK!! I want to fall to the floor. I want to scream out loud. I don't think I can take this anymore! My heart is still beating, but my breathing is getting weaker with all of this weight on top of my chest. I keep on fighting these angels wrestling these demons to the ground. I keep on walking until I los...
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