I always feel as if I could just control where this ruin down bus is going, but it takes me hundreds of times just to realize that I am just a passenger. How easy would it be for me to just run from this constant pain? But I already know it won’t ever go away until I deal with it. Until I can face the person that craved this into my heart. It takes two people to tango. She won’t seem to write her side. I think she’s loving the whole run and hide part, but she is young. She doesn’t yet realize that pain will follow you like a black cloud. I can recall at one point I was trying to explain this to her whether she heard me or not is up to her. There are always times where I feel like I can understand the point of view of another person. It takes while, but I get it. There is no possible way to look from there eyes. It doesn’t matter how hard you try. Just another reason to bring up the same old problems. In this time loop that my brain is trapped in I wanted to believe in anything that covered up the truth. I was angry and any stupid idea would come to me.
I’m sick with temptations.
Please show the dirt pile,
Where you buried my heart.
I prayed for angry things.
I screamed I’ve paid for this.
I suffered in an ugly world.
Where beautiful things are covered with dirt and leafs.
I felt her so much today.
I felt the pain as she drove away,
But here comes the fault.
You’ll never know where it comes from.
The heart makes you feel,
It makes the pain more real.
There is no way to run forever.
I try so hard to take the black from the gray,
But I don’t know if my soul can take,
Without the heart the love is forever ripped apart.
Question; if you had one month to live could you truly be happy with your life? Maybe you lost something along the way. Maybe you completely ruined your lives by the choices you made. Honestly, I think we get so caught up with what we have done in our lives that it’s not really as important as we make it out to be. It’s not about boasting about all the accomplishments you have done or your wall of degrees. We feel that we need to be this machine in order to be this sinless person. We live believing that by the works I have done, that is what’s going to get me into heaven. I notice a lot of people in my city that go to help feed the homeless, but they come in and they feed, and then go home. What is wrong with this picture? Jesus sat with the homeless; eat with them, fellowshipped with the homeless. We can’t truly understand or relate with what people have been through unless we get down to their level. I feel like if this is the way people are severing God than it is all wrong. If yo
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