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Hopeless As Nobody (Re-posting)

All heads on deck because this ship was meant to sink. 
Breathing deeply walking blind into this blood fight. 
Their voices slowly faded away in a shouting match. 
Waking up again with my throat slit to my confidence. 
Open up wide this reality is just a bad f****d up dream. 
These memories make me cry the ones I don't remember. 
Believe me when I say this train is going nowhere fast. 
Yelling words to suffocate to in this shattered broken home. 
Only if I can stand when I get back up off my knees. 
I'm falling into this white room trapped in my head forever. 
I can't run from these cuts and bruises you left to me. 
I'm fading into invisible in this empty world. 
Staring into my eye's there is too much of nothing. 
Living images in this crash course shattered life. 
If you could taste what I can feel then you wouldn't forget me. 
I'm tripping on something called nothing at all. 
I'm cheating so deeply with this broken bottle shattered glass. 
It's a dark night and these long words will never hold me. 
Another death soul that nobody knows. 
Taking over doses of to many pills into a shining light. 
To bad for me so long and good night.


Notes: This was originally posted in November 2008,
The main idea behind this poem was that I was alone, and a lot of people had left me. This poem has many references to the pain I felt at that time about situations in my life. "Open up wide this reality is just a bad f******d up dream" I felt that every time I turned around that something bad was going to happen. I didn't know God, so I felt I had no hope in life. Out of all my poems that I have ever posted this was one of few that hit deep inside my heart. 

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