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I'm So Lonely..........................

Who am I? I feel like I am this person, called the helper. Where are my friends? I've been trying to answer that question for so long now. I mean I have friends, but not true friends. I'm the guy that people ask advice from and then walk away. Who can I share with? I've tried, and I've tired, but really is there anyone out there? Anyone that will listen to what I have to say for a change. No that's what it's called, I'm the Nice Guy! When will that term be put to rest? I hate to say it, but I'm the guy girls dump their problems on, and then go back to their boy friends.

I swear to you not that the last couple of people I've met used me as a sounding board for their problems. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. What am I putting off that I'm the guy you cry on his shoulder with? Is it something that I am doing, or saying? A true friend is equal, they are loyal, and they have each others backs. Where can I find that in a person? Right now in my life, I'm having a really hard time finding a good friend to hang out with. Look this is me venting to myself, unless someone reads this. It hurts so bad knowing that there is really not a person out there that really cares about, me. Sometimes I wish I could escape, but don't we all? I travel three states, and that loneliness I talk of, just followed behind me. Now doesn't that suck! Of course I have heard this millions of times "You are never alone, God is there." I know that this is true, but that's not the feeling I am having. I am not lonely from God. I am lonely from...people...humans. How come I can't just close my eyes, and this feeling would just go away? What have I done wrong? I went out to local places, and talked to people. I've talked to people online, but I never seem to make that connection with someone. I try to be honest. Maybe that's a problem? What about me is making people turn there heads?

I recently had a really bad break-up, that basically destroyed me inside, and out. But I am done with that, I am over that sad excuse for a relationship. I seem to find these girls and every time I do, I get to know them, and I begin to like them, and then I'm just the friend. It's like I am stuck in this horrible friendship nightmare with women, and I can't get out. Wait...Or they are dating already, Or they are married, Or they are not ready for a "relationship" I didn't think I was either, but it's been awhile. What is wrong with me? Why do I question myself so much? I always felt that I was the "Husband" type not the "Boy Friend" type maybe that's why I can't get a date. I've have tried everything, well expect one of those dating sites, or speed dating...Wow! that always reminds me of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin. Maybe that is a bad idea!

Well this is me, as lonely as can be. Well if you read this and you feel like responding, please let me hear your voice. Hear is a bible verse I thought went along with my rant.

Ecclesiastes 4:10-11

If one person falls, the other can reach out for help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?

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