Dear ****** ****,
“I know I wasn’t the smartest most intelligent guy in this great big world, but I always had love in my heart for you. I know that sometimes I tried too hard to get you close to me, even when you were already there. I always felt as if even when I had you there that you were going to disappear. I felt that one day I was going to lose faith in you, and you were going to run away. I guess I wasn’t wrong. I fell head over heals for you, and we just should’ve been friends. The truth is that I was so down on myself that I just wanted someone to love me. Someone to share my pain with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to hold me close. Someone to care about. It was a mistake from the very beginning. I don’t have any clue what you saw in me. I was more twisted then I have ever been in my life. My emotions were insane, and you just didn’t help. Now I can see that it couldn’t have been complete love when I thought about killing myself after you had left me for the night. My depression was in full control. I would like to thank you for at least trying. You were way to good to have me to deal with. I always felt that I was the one that tore you away from Jesus, and that caused you to sin a lot more, and I am truly sorry for that. I regret my horrible actions. You always talked about your future as if I wasn’t going to be in it. You repeatedly said that you had to make this big decision. It made me always have questions. Why are we together? Why do I love you? Why do you continue to ask me if I love you? What am I fighting for? It was hard for me when we would fight about the stupidest things. We got so close to breaking up, it was like I was continually being stabbed in the heart, but then we would work it out. Why? I just didn’t understand. If it wasn’t working why did we drag it out? I think if you ever loved me you would have included me in your plans, but you didn’t. I was your biggest problem. I was just someone that passed the time for you until the next better thing came into your life. I didn’t understand what happened to you the last couple of months. You were not that smart, cute, funny, intelligent girl I fell in love with. You changed so much. Maybe that’s what you wanted. You didn’t want to break my heart, so you tired your very best to be someone that I would fall out of love with. Only that back fired, and I still loved you for who you were. Which was foolish for me. I was clearly not what you were hoping for, and you weren’t who I thought you were. If you would have just came out and said that to me, and showed some type of honesty. Maybe you could’ve lived with yourself, and didn’t have to go through so much pain. When that final day came I saw it on your face that you had did something wrong. I felt it when you kissed me for that last time. I never realized that I was that much of a pain to be around that you couldn’t just come out and tell me the truth. Let me be honest here this letter isn’t about feelings for you because I have none, and I don’t think that I ever will. It’s about setting the record straight. Things happen for reason. You opened my eyes to how horrible a person can fuck with someone’s emotions, and walk away like nothing happened. You showed me that love is strong, and if you don’t feel the same way about a person you should say it in the beginning of a relationship. You showed me that people will do anything to get what they want even if that means almost killing someone. I have had a lot of anger and resentment about the course of actions that took place. I tried to do everything I could to hear the truth, but to you it seemed to be better to tell more lies. I know why you avoid me because you don’t want to deal with what happened, and you just want to forget all about it. Honestly, I think that’s great! Because I just don’t care about you either. Well life is just to short to bottle everything up. That’s why I am going to let the world read my letter to you. This may sound cruel, but I really don’t know what else I could’ve said. I’m just being honest something that you could never be. Even though I don’t care about you like I used to. I hope that you are happy, and enjoying your life. I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors.”
~C. Caputi~
“I know I wasn’t the smartest most intelligent guy in this great big world, but I always had love in my heart for you. I know that sometimes I tried too hard to get you close to me, even when you were already there. I always felt as if even when I had you there that you were going to disappear. I felt that one day I was going to lose faith in you, and you were going to run away. I guess I wasn’t wrong. I fell head over heals for you, and we just should’ve been friends. The truth is that I was so down on myself that I just wanted someone to love me. Someone to share my pain with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to hold me close. Someone to care about. It was a mistake from the very beginning. I don’t have any clue what you saw in me. I was more twisted then I have ever been in my life. My emotions were insane, and you just didn’t help. Now I can see that it couldn’t have been complete love when I thought about killing myself after you had left me for the night. My depression was in full control. I would like to thank you for at least trying. You were way to good to have me to deal with. I always felt that I was the one that tore you away from Jesus, and that caused you to sin a lot more, and I am truly sorry for that. I regret my horrible actions. You always talked about your future as if I wasn’t going to be in it. You repeatedly said that you had to make this big decision. It made me always have questions. Why are we together? Why do I love you? Why do you continue to ask me if I love you? What am I fighting for? It was hard for me when we would fight about the stupidest things. We got so close to breaking up, it was like I was continually being stabbed in the heart, but then we would work it out. Why? I just didn’t understand. If it wasn’t working why did we drag it out? I think if you ever loved me you would have included me in your plans, but you didn’t. I was your biggest problem. I was just someone that passed the time for you until the next better thing came into your life. I didn’t understand what happened to you the last couple of months. You were not that smart, cute, funny, intelligent girl I fell in love with. You changed so much. Maybe that’s what you wanted. You didn’t want to break my heart, so you tired your very best to be someone that I would fall out of love with. Only that back fired, and I still loved you for who you were. Which was foolish for me. I was clearly not what you were hoping for, and you weren’t who I thought you were. If you would have just came out and said that to me, and showed some type of honesty. Maybe you could’ve lived with yourself, and didn’t have to go through so much pain. When that final day came I saw it on your face that you had did something wrong. I felt it when you kissed me for that last time. I never realized that I was that much of a pain to be around that you couldn’t just come out and tell me the truth. Let me be honest here this letter isn’t about feelings for you because I have none, and I don’t think that I ever will. It’s about setting the record straight. Things happen for reason. You opened my eyes to how horrible a person can fuck with someone’s emotions, and walk away like nothing happened. You showed me that love is strong, and if you don’t feel the same way about a person you should say it in the beginning of a relationship. You showed me that people will do anything to get what they want even if that means almost killing someone. I have had a lot of anger and resentment about the course of actions that took place. I tried to do everything I could to hear the truth, but to you it seemed to be better to tell more lies. I know why you avoid me because you don’t want to deal with what happened, and you just want to forget all about it. Honestly, I think that’s great! Because I just don’t care about you either. Well life is just to short to bottle everything up. That’s why I am going to let the world read my letter to you. This may sound cruel, but I really don’t know what else I could’ve said. I’m just being honest something that you could never be. Even though I don’t care about you like I used to. I hope that you are happy, and enjoying your life. I’m not trying to be sarcastic. I wish you the best in all of your future endeavors.”
~C. Caputi~
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