I have spent so much of my time fighting for something that wasn't right at all. The problem was that I thought, I believed that it was the right thing, but it wasn't at all. The last couple of days I have realized how much I am thankful for the people in my life, and that this year has truly been wonderful. I can't remember a year that has been more perfect. I have been trying to write something about this year, and I have struggled with my negativity and my anger, but I don't need that....I told myself that all the things that I have done in my past have been forgiven, and that it is time to move on from that. I have so many bad memories that my mind dwells on them so much. A lot of people tell me to just forget about it, and move on, but I couldn't just forget them. These memories that I have are apart of who I am, and who I have become. Besides my pains I have been noticing that so many people expect something from me that I was never taught. They expect me to be selfless and strong.....they expect me to be able to hunt, and fix cars, and be a "Real Man". I really understand there concerns, but I never was taught to be this worldly man. It's really not my fault that I am not like that. It is what it is...and I am who I am. There will always be some type of problem. They can't expect me to completely change into this fake person, if they couldn't even do the same. God molded me this way.....He didn't make me loving and caring, to go behind his back and be something that I am not. Yes, I fought this for awhile, and I tried to be someone that I wasn't, and the truth is that it's a lie. I am sick of being a lie. To all the people that hoped that I would change, I am here to say that I am not giving in to the Devil...I hate the Devil. I have seen people die, and I have lost people that I have loved...I had my heart completely broken..and all the other bad things that I rather caused or suffered for, and here I am standing strong. Until you have been through. Until you open up your eyes to the truth you will never truly understand what it's like to be attack by the Devil. Most people believe that he is tamed in a cage, but I am here to say he is not, and just because you don't believe in him does not mean he won't put you through hell. I am a child of the most high God, and my life shows how much I have been through...and through all that chaos I am who I am. Those pains made me love you even more, those heartaches have showed me how to care for the weak, and the sick. Those hurts have lead me to Christ, and those Struggles gave me this heart that has been repaired by the healing hands of God. How do I know this? I used to be this horrible person that hated everything around me, and buried it inside..I would spend my days laughing, and making fun of the weak. I didn't like who I was, but I am not that person anymore. God, my father has shown me the light. That's what makes this such an amazing year....I am finished struggling with this, and I am moving on to a better life. I am so happy to be here, and I am happy to have been able to live in this life, and to have met my loving (future wife), and the people at Mid-Atlantic Christian University, and all the people at my new Church Freedom Baptist Ministries. This was a great year!
If I could change a thing, I think I would have changed everything. If I could have known the truth, I would have never been with you. Twenty-five and I am so tired of this childish love, And all the pain that comes along with all its games. Seems such a waste to throw it all away, But I am who I am, like me or not, But you will never be able to change me. The world has its grips on you, And I am no way getting involved. Today could be the greatest of days, But what would you have changed? All of your wrong mistakes, your bad calls, All your fear and lies, Or are you just so selfish inside? If I could change the way we were, I think I would change everything. If I knew the absolute truth about you, I would have never even met you. Twenty-five to life with all that you did, Is this the end of love, should I give up? And here I am stuck with a broken heart, And busted up sight. These days are blurring together, And nothing seems al...
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